(LATE EDIT: a now-defunct blog talked about blogging cliches. I have preserved its memory for all to see.)
Alright, let's see what I'm guilty of:
"7 - Don't use spell check."
Gillty. Sometimes, I just fly rite through my entries when I right them. Sometimes I dont detect the erors until many months later. It sux, I no. Still, I (sometimes) corect errors when I find them, although some typoes may still be uglifiying this hear blog of mein.
"6 - ALWAYS USE ALL CAPITAL LETTERS."
Always? No, I don't. He also points out how "YELLING and (being) ANGRY" is considered cool, which is ironic, considering that always constantly yelling on the world wide web gets you branded as "emo", and I know the connotations of being considered "emo." Still, even when I'm at my angriest, I don't always type in all capital letters.
Unless if I've spotted a cute girl. Then I scream BECAUSE I'M SO OVERJOYED!!! Not out of anger.
"5 - Don't Do Research. EVER!"
Okay, unlike some internet denizens, I can't pull up links to obscure statistics every time I bring up an argument, but I (usually) do my research before writing something. And, if I should find out something that contradicts what I've written, I usually correct it after the fact.
"4 - Force Humor."
I love writing humor. But I don't shoehorn in humor when I don't feel it appropriate. I love this guy's example, "People like laughing, mainly at the pain of others. So belittle what ever subject you're doing with a really distasteful joke. When writing something about gay rights remember to squeeze some jokes about butt-sex. Because gays have butt-sex and that's always funny." See? I don't do that right there. And I usually avoid topical humor, for exactly the reason he mentioned.
"3 - Always Have the Blog Be About A Negative Experience/Thought."
Always? No. One might get that impression if all you've read were my thoughts on Slayers, the Code Geass anime, the Sailor Moon anime, and the storyline of Metal Gear Solid, but I talk about positive stuff, too. If all I did was negative stuff, I'd sound like a broken record, and I wouldn't have much variety in terms of content.
"2 - Give The Reader Too Much Personal Info About Yourself."
Riiiiiight, especially considering that there are some things I will never reveal over the internet due to plain common sense, and I'm not comfortable with revealing the really bad things that have happened in my life, so there. Ha.
"1 - Make It ALL about YOU."
"Make everything you write about you and how good and awesome and right you are." Because you're never wrong."
Sure I'm awesome (to an extent), but I'm not always right.
"Never the bad guy."
Don't be so sure. I always preferred to play as Nod in the Command & Conquer games, as well as the Soviets in the Red Alert games. Being bad is great fun, comrades!
"Always the victim or the lone hero standing up to an unjust society."
There's been times in my life that I've been a victim, but I pull through somehow, and while society is some ways is unjust, I am not a lone hero. For I am not alone.
"You're Jesus. You're Hercules. You're Chuck Norris. You're Elvis."
Sorry, I'm not a religious figure. I'm not a person from Greek mythology. I'm not the star of one of the worst tv shows ever. (Seriously, try to stomach one episode of Walker: Texas Ranger. Just try to. I can't. Neither can my older brother.) And I'm also not The King. But, I can kick serious ass at Duke Nukem 3D, Mario Kart 64, and Megaman 3.
"You are all things great and mighty and have to remind us, your servants, every-fucking-day about how cool you are because you told some guy who cut in front of you at the [insert fast food place here] off."
Uh, I don't describe such details here.
"Or how you are able summon the will to live even when you get a parking ticket you think you didn't deserve."
Again, too insignificant to talk about here.
"Or how you're the only person who's right and everyone else is stupid and needs to think YOUR way to have a meaningfully existence."
My mom, dad, grandma, and my mom's cousin ain't stupid, and I interact with them constantly. And . . . my way of life can lead to a significant life, but so can other ways of living.
"Tell us about your amazing life, like the time you put 50 cents into a soda machine and you got TWO sodas or when you found twenty dollars on the street and blew it on smokes."
Again, too insignificant.
"The world needs all the details of your boring ass life because you are the best gift the world has ever had. You. You. You. No one else. Just you. Self important, egoistically you."
But I'm not egotistical. Haven't you figured that out by now?
So, except for the occasional typos, I don't make the same mistakes that most other bloggers do. Isn't that great?
