or I'm gonna be super pissed.
Because of my painful past in grade school, every time I graduated at this time of year, I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy when I graduated elementary and middle school, because I knew I'd just be going to a different school, filled with its own assholes and dipshits. Even when I graduated high school, I wasn't happy. Only relieved. Relieved until the next time people started giving me shit for no god damn reason.
However, that might change.
Granted, it won't be until next year, but if I graduate with an associate's by next year, I'll actually be graduating, happily. Because, even as of right now, I've learned more at my college than I ever did in K-12 schools. And it was my college that partially restored my faith in humanity.
And even if, for whatever reason, the school doesn't let me earn my associate's, I'm still gonna party with my family as if I graduated anyways. I'll still have more education than anyone who's never been to college of any kind.
But let's look back at me when I graduated from the previous schools, eh?
When I Graduated 5th Grade:
Actually, I am not gonna tell you what happened. I'm not comfortable with divulging such information at the time.
When I Graduated 8th Grade:
I was suffering from depression. Yes, I graduated from middle school during the first time I was clinically depressed. If you're wondering, my first depression was between late 1998 and the end of 2000. (I don't know why, but by January of 2001, I had suddenly snapped out of my first depression spell. I guess I had a really good Christmas and New Year's party that year.) So, because of my depression, during the graduation, I appeared a lot more bored than all of the other students. I had no friends to speak of. Everyone hated me, even though I wasn't a bad person. They only hated me because I could think for myself, and form my own opinions. Yeah, when I said I was like Shinji Ikari when I was 14, I wasn't fucking kidding. Outside of my family, I was driven away from the very society I lived in. In fact, I'm lucky. A few months before I graduated, I came this close to suffering a nervous breakdown. Luckily, I didn't. My mom, dad, and grandma stood by me no matter what. Jesus, my middle school graduation was more painful than my elementary grad. Why am I recounting this one?
When I Graduated 12th Grade.
This time, I had friends. And this time, I wasn't depressed. I wished my friends good luck on their future endeavors, and they wished the same on me as well. I still wasn't happy when I graduated, because at that time, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I wouldn't decide on that for another 4 years. But still, I figured, I shouldn't be around as many assholes as I was accustomed to, so maybe I was happy in a way. Satisfied in knowing that I survived grade school intact.
I predict that when I graduate college, it'll be like my high school grad, only better.
LATE EDIT: Except I didn't go to a graduation, and I didn't "win" until early 2011. Better late than never, though.
