Valkyria Chronicles: A Great Game.

Every now and then, a game comes out. The reviews for said game say, "It's pretty good. You should try it out." You play the game, and it surprises you; it's not "pretty good"; it's phenomenal. That's what Valkyria Chronicles did to me. I wasn't expecting a modern classic, and also one of the best strategy games of all time, from Sega, of all companies, but here it is, in all of its glory.

Unlike some strategy games, you have to utilize actual strategy to win at VC. You can't just rush the enemy. You will learn many tricks while playing the game. And while a few battles in the story mode are grueling, there is nothing exceedingly difficult in this game. It is certainly winnable, if you keep playing it.

What also surprised me was the game's story. The only other strategy games I've ever played that had great stories were Starcraft, Warcraft III, and the original Front Mission. VC makes a point that war isn't just about people killing people. There is certainly that in the game (war is hell, after all), but there are many other elements explored, such as bigotry, betrayal, love, camaraderie, coping with loss, and facing insurmountable odds, all of which is handled beautifully. Most of the characters on your side are flawed, yet likable, while most of the villainous characters are vile and loathsome, but even then, there are some enemy characters you come to respect, and some people on your side you come to hate. It is a story comparable to the best of Squaresoft's games, and nearly as clever as the LucasArts games of old.

VC uses cel-shaded graphics to great effect. The game is rendered in 3D, and rarely experiences slowdown. The character designs are similar to that of a modern Japanese comic book. Nonetheless, every character, both major and minor, boasts a unique face and appearance. The soundtrack by Hitoshi Sakimoto, while not his best, (kind of unfair to compare to Odin Sphere's soundtrack, though) does feature a few excellent tracks, including an orchestrated opening, and a vocal song both in English and Japanese.

But what surprises me more than anything else is this; why isn't this game more popular? By all accounts, VC should be one of the most well known PS3-exclusives, yet it's not? Are that many "real" gamers turned off by cel-shading, T-rated violence, lack of multiplayer, and manga designs? It is a grave injustice.

There is a sequel to VC in the works, one that promises to tell a fantastic tale of its own. It is coming to the PSP, but if there is any justice in the world, it will also come out to the PS3. Why? Because I can't get enough Valkyria Chronicles.

Final Score: 10 out of 10. The only flaw I found? The enemy sometimes makes stupid mistakes. That's it. And . . . maybe a lack of multiplayer.

Dissection

Dissection is something Keroro fears. I know this, since I recently bought the first half of season one of Sgt. Frog on DVD recently. And no, you otakus; buying an anime on DVD does not make me a tool.

Anyways, now I've had the chance to watch episode 5 thru 13, in the English dub as a matter of fact, and overall, I'm pleased. Sgt. Frog is straight-up comedy done right. There are jokes that just about anyone can get. In fact, if this show aired when I was a kid, you bet your ass I'd have been quoting it constantly, driving my family insane in doing so. ("xm! Stop calling hamburgers 'cow flesh'"!) You could watch some episodes again and laugh as much as you did the first you saw it.

The voice-acting, in English anyways, is excellent. I've now confirmed that it was done by Funimation, and not ADV. Well, honestly, I wouldn't expect a dub like this from ADV. Funi is strange though; some of their dubs suck (older DBZ, Moon Phase) one of their dubs is average, (Travis Willingham was great as the protagonist in Mushi-Shi, but the other English voices were meh.) And yet, a few of their dubs are otherworldly. (Trinity Blood, FMA, Blue Gender.) Luckily, Funi did good with the acting and dialog in Sgt. Frog.

So if you like madcap humor, look no further than Sgt. Frog. It makes fun of Japanese pop culture, American pop culture, and stuff in general. By the way, I plan on buying the next boxset.

Kero kero kero kero.

It starts

I published Chapter 4 of Mentor and Protege. Not only that, I finally told the peoples of doujinstyle that I have a new fanfic series, and I told shrinemaiden as well. In fact, it's the first time I've advertised anything at shrinemaiden; I wonder what they'll think of A Touhou Fanfiction About Nothing.

Anyways, I want to mention a few odd-and-ends that are Touhou related, since I have nothing else on my mind. (Unless you want me to spoil Valkyria Chronicles, which I don't feel like doing.)

• Some of ZUN's artwork is actually pretty good. I like his illustrations of Mima in MS, Alice and Yukari in PCB, Reisen and Kaguya in IN, Nitori in MOF, and most of the characters in UFO. I've read that he had assistance doing the art in POFV; even so, I like that game's illustrations of Youmu, Medicine, and Komachi. Even as crappy as some of the art is, especially in EOSD, ZUN still draws better than I ever could.
• Stage 2 theme of MOF is awesome. It's seriously underrated.
• You know what's strange? Writing Touhou fanfiction has increased my apprecation for the franchise. Before I wrote ATFAN, the only thing about Suika I liked was her theme song. Afterwards, she became my 5th favorite character.
• One man WMG: Touhou exists as a way to speak out against misogyny in video games. Nearly every character is female, yet not one of them in canon dresses in a slutty manner. In Gensokyo, it's women who wield power, not men. Females do heroic (and villainous) deeds just as easily as male characters could. Lastly, I know she (as in a nation) has made progress over the years, but some of the peoples of Japan still hold anti-feminist views in comparison to most other industrialized nations. I think ZUN might be one of the most pro-feminist game makers in history . . . or, I could be completely wrong, and the only reason he made every character a well-dressed female was to draw in jaded 20-something male gamers who don't pant at half-naked women anymore, yet still enjoy the sight of good-looking (and well-dressed) females.
• I have a character profile list saved on my hard drive. It's a list I typed up for my Touhouverse. Every character I've written so far has an entry. Each entry details the following: her name, race, height, eye color, hair color, powers, age, and a brief summary of her personality. Oh, by the way, I don't keep track of it in that page, but I also have a specific breast size for each character. Yeah, I know, I'm not a boob man, but these details are important! If you go by what I've written in my ATFAN series, then you know that: Reimu and Marisa are somewhere in the A range, Yukari is single D, Kaguya is single B, Eirin is double D, Suika has a completely flat chest, and Yugi has gag boobs that I don't know the measurements to. And before you ask, SAKUYA DOES NOT PAD HER BRA IN MY SERIES, END OF DISCUSSION.
• No, I am not going to write hentai. I am never going to write hentai. Never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Don't ask for it.

But now that two messageboards know about M and P, I'd say things are going-

-"DON'T SAY IT!"

Ah, almost got away with it that time.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate landmines?

For one thing, landmines have been a thorn on my side ever since I played the first Red Alert way back when I was a kid. Not only that, mines always fucked me over in the MGS games. And now mines are fucking with me in Valkyria Chronicles. Is there no end to this madness!?


Oh yeah, I haven't been updating recently. There are things eating up my time. Things like school, homework, doing stuff with my family, writing my fanfic, and the timesink that is VC. I don't know how far I am on VC, so, who knows when I'll finish it and start renting PS3 games again.

And yes, I am aware that there's a new volume of FMA out. However, I'm gonna wait until new volumes of other manga series I'm collecting come out; I like to purchase in bulk, you see.

Progress!

Chapter 3 of Mentor and Protege is now up at Fanfiction.net! One more chapter, and then I'm telling the Touhou fanbase about my product in the making!

In other news, readers, I can't bring myself to rent anymore PS3 games at the moment. I have a burning desire to play through Valkyria Chronicles to completion, so I bought it. I already bought my first PS3 game! And it's still a blast! However, don't expect me to play anything else for the time being.

But that's not all! I also bought the 4th season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I've been enjoying season 5 so far, but it's good to go back, refresh my memory, and also partake in Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life. (That title cracks me up every time. I'm laughing right now, even!)

But let's get back to Touhou fanfiction.Why am I writing my own Touhouverse? Aren't there already several good Touhou fanfics in English? Of course. However, there's always something in a TH fanfic that I'll disagree with. This isn't to say they're bad, no. Usually Dead, KimikoMuffin, and Mima of Shrinemaiden are fantastic authors, however, there's always something in a TH fanfic that'll make me think, "No, that's totally not something (name of character) would do." So I thought I'd create a version of TH with how I picture things. I'm not trying to "outdo" anyone, and I'm not interested in getting recognized, either. It's just something I feel like doing.

I don't have anything else to say. I have a Sunny marathon to continue.

let's talk stuff

I have an avatar on shrinemaiden now! I've made more than ten posts! I'm a real boy!

Speaking of which, I've made progress on my Touhou fanfic. I actually got unblocked on the next chapter. Once I've uploaded Ch. 3 and 4 on fanfiction.net, I'm gonna advertise Mentor and Protege on doujinstyle and shrinemaiden. Should spike up my viewership.

I've also been downloading more Touhou songs. Guess what I'm addicted to now?

Eirin's Clinic That People Queue Up For.

That's not even my favorite remix of Eirin's theme, and it's not even one of my favorite IOSYS songs either, and yet, I can't resist it! Why!? What is this power that some Japanese pop songs have over me!? I don't understand!

Half-Life 2: Episode Two, The Review

Yes, I finally beat the Striders. More on that, later.

Episode Two is better than Episode One. Unlike One, Two actually has new (and beautifully rendered) environments to explore, as well as a few new enemies to deal with. You get to drive a cool car, and there's more twists and turns in the storyline.

However, there's one fault. The Striders. There's a segment where you have to kill a bunch of Striders before they get to some base you have to protect. This segment was the most frustrating thing I've seen in a Half-Life game since Xen. That's right, I invoked the X word just now.

The only way I beat this segment was that I abused the Hell out of the save game feature. Since you can save whenever you like, that gives you, the player, power. Power you're gonna need. When I finally beat the Striders, this was my reaction:

"(sigh of relief) That felt like a final boss battle."

Guess what? I was right. Right after that, the game ends, on a cliffhanger, no less. Still, the Half-Life game I like to call Half-Life 2: Episode Zero is still better than Episode Two. It did have Striders, but not like this.

Here's hoping Episode Three is the end-all, be-all Half-Life experience.

Valkyria Chronicles; PLAY IT!

Valkyria Chronicles is one of the top 5 best strategy games I've ever played in my life. I can't do a proper review of it, since I couldn't complete the game when I rented it, but I can safely say, it's a must play.

But first, a disclaimer. This game is advertised as a "Strategy RPG." That is a half-truth. There are close-to-no RPG elements in VC. The Front Mission and Disgaea games have true RPG elements, not VC. This isn't a bad thing, mind you, just don't expect it to play exactly like Disgaea.

The game itself is innovative. When it's your turn, you move your units using command points. Whenever you move someone, the screen shifts from the map onto the battlefield, and you move your unit in real-time. Be careful, some enemy units can attack you during this period. You can attack once per command, so make it count. When you've used up your command points, (or if you end your turn early, thus saving your command points for the next turn) then it's the enemy's turn. You can't do anything here except wait. Once the enemy turn ends, it's your turn again. The game is more turn-based than real-time, but I like how Sega incorporated real-time movements. This separates VC from the rest of the pack.

The game's story is one of the best I've ever seen. It's basically an alternate-reality World War II. The Soviets Eastern Empire and the Allies Federation both want a piece of Belgium Gallia, and it's up to Welkin, a junior officer, to lead a squadron to protect his country. I can't go into too much detail, because of spoilers, and also because I haven't gotten that far yet, but what I have seen convinces me that VC is a work of high art. The characters are clearly defined, and you will feel Welkin's struggle to defend this homeland despite his inexperience. Unlike most Sega games, VC actually has decent voice-acting. Not fantastic, (I would've liked it if the dubbers put more "bite" in their delivery) but every voice is distinct, and you might recognize a few voices. (Look out for Bender, by the way.)

The soundtrack is really good. Okay, personally, Hitoshi Sakimoto isn't one of my favorite composers, but every one of his soundtracks always manage to have at least a few excellent tracks, and VC is no exception. Having a 5.1 setup helps, too.

When I'm done renting all the PS3-exclusives that I'm interested in, VC may be the first one I buy. Its combination of excellent gameplay, beautiful storyline, and neat soundtrack make it very appealing to me. Why no one else has been raving about this game is a puzzlement to me. Are gamers really only interested in shooters anymore? You can shoot people from a first-person perspective in this game, too.

Not Dead Yet

Ask any hardcore gamer what they think of Service Games, better known as Sega. Inevitably, you will hear phrases like, "Oh, how the mighty have fallen." "Jumped the Shark." "A burnt out husk of what it used to be." As hard as it may be to believe, Sega was once one of the most respected developers in the industry. Many of their games from the 1990s had cutting-edge graphics, awesome soundtracks, and innovative gameplay. Even after their departure from the console market in 2001, Sega was still going strong; the Gamecube port of Sonic Adventure 2 was once the best selling game for that console, and 2002 saw the release of Jet Set Radio Future and the Xbox port of Shenmue 2, two of some of my favorite games for the Xbox.

Then, 2003 roles along and . . . Sega just lost its mojo. Oh sure, the Sonic the Hedgehog games still sell in droves, but what was the last truly great game by Sega that you played? And don't say Sonic Advance 3, because that was actually made by Dimps, who seems to understand Sonic better than his progenitors now. Sega's biggest franchise has now become a laughingstock in the industry, and it seems the only notable releases they've made in the last seven years is re-releases of their older games, usually on compilation discs. It's not hard to see why; Sega has created many beloved games, both popular games, as well as cult classics over the years: Alex Kidd in Miracle World, Phantasy Star, the Sonic trilogy for the Genesis, Streets of Rage, Shining Force, Panzer Dragoon, NiGHTS into Dreams, among others. This isn't even mentioning the countless number of arcade games they've made. In fact, last time I went to a video game arcade, almost all of the games either made by Namco, Konami, or Sega. Obviously, Sega has, or had, clout in the past.

Nowadays, when gamers think of developers who churn out games with cutting-edge graphics, awesome graphics, and innovative gameplay, they don't think of Sega. They think of Nintendo, Square-Enix, Bungie Studios (as much as it pains me to print that last one, Bungie's clout in the industry is undeniable), Blizzard, and others. Well, when I name off respectable game makers, I'm gonna list the Sega of today from now on. You know why? Three words:

Sega. Is. BACK.

How do I know this?

I played Valkyria Chronicles for the first time.

Why it took Sega six years to churn out another AAA product, I don't know. But the truth of the matter is, Sega hasn't gone under; they were just hibernating. The Sega I knew from my past has re-emerged, with a vengeance. You can keep joking about 3D Sonic if you want; I'm gonna start showing my respect for this developer again.







Okay, yeah, I still don't like Sega as much as Nintendo, Namco, Blizzard, and old-school LucasArts, but still.

A preview of things to come . . . again

I rented another PS3 game. This game has caught my attention a lot more than Infamous did. I'm gonna write a two-part review for it. Yeah, two articles for a review, not just one. Look forward to it.

By the way, I can have an avatar on Shrinemaiden now. Now I won't look like a spambot anymore! Isn't that great!?

Oh, also, it's October now. Time flies when you're kicking ass.