Okay, let's talk more about Fallout 3, without imitating the feel of a 1950's tv commercial this time.
One complaint I've heard about Fallout 3 is that its story sucks. This isn't surprising, considering that most "real" gamers assume that RPG's without good storytelling automatically suck. I agree on one part; the story in Fallout 3 isn't going to win any awards. The characterization is shallow, the dialogue is mostly for functional purposes, and so on. This is a very non-linear RPG. Now granted, the setting of Fallout 3 is excellent. The game does a great job of showing you what Washington D.C. would look like after a nuclear war, provided that D.C. would become a battleground for Orc-like mutants and soldiers who think of themselves as modern-day knights. (Yes, I know the green things are actually called Super Mutants, and the human soldiers are known as the Brotherhood of Steel. I'm just giving a first impression.)
However, I think gamers are being too hard on Fallout 3's lack of story. I think it's because most gamers are more accustomed to linear RPGs, such as most Japanese RPGs. And many other American RPGs also have great stories, too. What I believe is this; there is a good story in Fallout 3; it's just that you aren't looking hard enough. Know why?
Because you create the story in Fallout 3. You the player weave your own narrative. That's how much freedom the game grants to you, the ability to make your own RPG adventure. Think of Fallout like a singleplayer MMORPG; you've got one major goal you need to accomplish, but you can do whatever you want along the way, either for fun, for XP, for money, to prepare yourself for the major goal, or to take in the sights of a ruined capitol. Now then, when one plays an online RPG, would probably would relate anecdotes to one's friends afterwards:
"So this one time I was playing WOW, my friend lured out some whatevers, I fired my whatever spell, and I killed the whatevers, but I accidently scorched my friend in doing so! Boy, was he pissed! Still, I made sure to return his items once he ressurrected, but next time, I'll just fight with my sword."
You see, I could tell similar anecdotes with my experiences with Fallout 3. Man, the stories I have to tell! Say, did I ever tell you about the time I killed four Raiders with just one clip of my assault rifle? Or the time I defeated a Super Mutant Brute, even though he had a minigun and all I had was a shotgun?
See? I could go on for hours just describing my experiences with Fallout 3, like I was really there, and that's what's so great about it. Try out this game if you haven't already; you won't regret it.
Provided you aren't one of those fucktards who hated Final Fantasy 12 just because its story didn't live up to your expectations.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Drink Nuka-Cola Today!
Hi boys and girls! xm0123 here. I have a question for you: are you tired, run down? Are you unpopular? Do you poop out at parties? Well all the answers to your problems are-
-"Let me guess; you're re-enacting the 'Vitameatavegamin' sketch from I Love Lucy? Yes, we know. One of the funniest scenes in tv history."
Wait! That's not what I'm talking about! Although I do have your attention now.
*ahem*
The answers to your problems are in an Xbox 360 game (Also available for PC and PS3!) entitled Fallout 3!
Fallout 3 is guaranteed to relieve oneself of boredom, and raise your mental acuity by approximately 38 percent! You'll appreciate that you don't live in a wasteland like the one in Fallout 3! Ever wondered why the Free World and the Communist Party have yet to have a nuclear exchange in real life? Because they knew the horrors it would unleash! But now those horrors can be brought to you through the safety of your home!
"But Mr. xm!" you might say, "Isn't Fallout 3 just a mod of The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion that replaces the swords and sorcery with guns and Mentats?"
Not so! Though I've never played Oblivion, I have played Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind on the original Xbox, and I safely say, it has very little in common with Morrowind. (I would hope not. Morrowind was one of the worst games I've ever played on the original Xbox. 2002 game of the year my ass! Fallout 3 is way fucking better than stupid Morrowind!)
Anyways, don't listen to the naysayers who say that Fallout 3 is "unfaithful to Fallout 1 & 2" or that it's "Oblivion with guns." On its own merits, it is an excellent television game! Though I have never played Fallout 1 and 2, I can at least say that Fallout 3 is good.
Fallout 3: xm0123 tested, Vault Boy approved!
This message brought to you by Nuka-Cola. Who needs cocaine-flavored cola when you've got atomic-flavored cola!?
Warning: Fallout 3 has been known to cause radiation poisoning, Mentats addiction, and young men to shout, "Oh! I just blew his fucking head off!" at regular intervals. Play at your own risk.
-"Let me guess; you're re-enacting the 'Vitameatavegamin' sketch from I Love Lucy? Yes, we know. One of the funniest scenes in tv history."
Wait! That's not what I'm talking about! Although I do have your attention now.
*ahem*
The answers to your problems are in an Xbox 360 game (Also available for PC and PS3!) entitled Fallout 3!
Fallout 3 is guaranteed to relieve oneself of boredom, and raise your mental acuity by approximately 38 percent! You'll appreciate that you don't live in a wasteland like the one in Fallout 3! Ever wondered why the Free World and the Communist Party have yet to have a nuclear exchange in real life? Because they knew the horrors it would unleash! But now those horrors can be brought to you through the safety of your home!
"But Mr. xm!" you might say, "Isn't Fallout 3 just a mod of The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion that replaces the swords and sorcery with guns and Mentats?"
Not so! Though I've never played Oblivion, I have played Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind on the original Xbox, and I safely say, it has very little in common with Morrowind. (I would hope not. Morrowind was one of the worst games I've ever played on the original Xbox. 2002 game of the year my ass! Fallout 3 is way fucking better than stupid Morrowind!)
Anyways, don't listen to the naysayers who say that Fallout 3 is "unfaithful to Fallout 1 & 2" or that it's "Oblivion with guns." On its own merits, it is an excellent television game! Though I have never played Fallout 1 and 2, I can at least say that Fallout 3 is good.
Fallout 3: xm0123 tested, Vault Boy approved!
This message brought to you by Nuka-Cola. Who needs cocaine-flavored cola when you've got atomic-flavored cola!?
Warning: Fallout 3 has been known to cause radiation poisoning, Mentats addiction, and young men to shout, "Oh! I just blew his fucking head off!" at regular intervals. Play at your own risk.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Another semester down
I've finished my finals for this semester. I'm free again.
Much like last year, I'm not gonna take classes during the summer again. If I'm lucky, maybe this time I'll actually get a paying job. Of course, considering the current economic situation, that may work against my odds.
Nonetheless, I rented another game for my 360 (I'll tell you about it in my next post) and a couple of movies. Expect me to talk about them soon.
Oh, also, before I forget, sometime next week, my family is switching over to a different ISP. I don't know if this will cause any downtime on my end. If, after next week, I don't post for a while, it's because of this.
With all that out of the way, let's talk about Touhou some more!
Oh, you thought I was done with Touhou, weren't you!? I'm not. I've read some more Touhou fanfics on usuallydead.com. They're excellent. Oh, also, there are two humorous sections called "Ask Yuyuko!" and "Nitori's Notes." Read them. They're funny.
Oh, and I have more Touhou songs I've become addicted to. Prepare yourselves:
None can resist the Orin!
Don't call her "China"! (Warning: images are heavy on the sexual fanservice on this one.)
FEAR THE CUTE!
this one's pretty cool; it sounds like Castlevania music.
Danger! This one will also send you into kawaii overload!
And finally some metal.
Enjoy.
Much like last year, I'm not gonna take classes during the summer again. If I'm lucky, maybe this time I'll actually get a paying job. Of course, considering the current economic situation, that may work against my odds.
Nonetheless, I rented another game for my 360 (I'll tell you about it in my next post) and a couple of movies. Expect me to talk about them soon.
Oh, also, before I forget, sometime next week, my family is switching over to a different ISP. I don't know if this will cause any downtime on my end. If, after next week, I don't post for a while, it's because of this.
With all that out of the way, let's talk about Touhou some more!
Oh, you thought I was done with Touhou, weren't you!? I'm not. I've read some more Touhou fanfics on usuallydead.com. They're excellent. Oh, also, there are two humorous sections called "Ask Yuyuko!" and "Nitori's Notes." Read them. They're funny.
Oh, and I have more Touhou songs I've become addicted to. Prepare yourselves:
None can resist the Orin!
Don't call her "China"! (Warning: images are heavy on the sexual fanservice on this one.)
FEAR THE CUTE!
this one's pretty cool; it sounds like Castlevania music.
Danger! This one will also send you into kawaii overload!
And finally some metal.
Enjoy.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The end result of a product based in doujin
Oh god, help me! I've become addicted to a song about vampire sisters molesting their maid! I can't understand 99 percent of the lyrics without subtitles, and yet I can't help myself! It's soooooooo . . . . deliciously . . . . delightful!!!!! Okay, why am I talking like a character from Disgaea right now? This entry is supposed to be about something else.
Namely, Touhou. Yes, I know about this franchise. And there's some parts of it I do like. But before I go on, let me warn you; don't even think of playing the pedophile card against me just because I like Touhou! Recall this entry of mine as to why doing that is a very bad idea.
Anyways, I have played a demo of one of the games. It was okay, but the music was great, though. I like listening to Touhou music and remixes whenever I can. And also the song in the first paragraph . . . IT WON'T LEAVE MY HEAD!
Not only that, but good ol' tvtropes pointed me to a good website. This blog has Touhou fanfics that are really well written. The only one I've read so far was The Reinterpretation of Scarlet Devil, which was fantastic. The website has other articles, some of which are related to Touhou.
But still, Touhou is a phenomenon onto itself. Like the title of this entry states, Touhou is a work of doujin; as such, it's almost like it has no trademark. It's something that can be enjoyed for free (If you stick with the demo versions) and something fans can contribute to. As the Touhou imageboard (yes, there is one) once said, "Touhou is the only series where its fanon is its canon!" Make of that what you will. And, some of that fanon is pretty interesting, if I do say so myself. Look up Tsurupettan on youtube if you wanna know what I mean.
Of course, I am also aware that nearly every character is female. And most of them cater to stereotypical fetishes. Still, that doesn't mean they aren't cute. In fact, I've come to change my mind about something:
peoples, in the past, I never liked catgirls. Never understood their appeal. Never thought they were cute. Certainly never thought they were sexy either. And yet, Chen from Touhou is just adorable!
It's true! There are cute catgirls out there after all! Well, goes to show, it never hurts to have an open mind.
Although I still don't understand the fetishization of catgirls, but that's an issue for another day.
Namely, Touhou. Yes, I know about this franchise. And there's some parts of it I do like. But before I go on, let me warn you; don't even think of playing the pedophile card against me just because I like Touhou! Recall this entry of mine as to why doing that is a very bad idea.
Anyways, I have played a demo of one of the games. It was okay, but the music was great, though. I like listening to Touhou music and remixes whenever I can. And also the song in the first paragraph . . . IT WON'T LEAVE MY HEAD!
Not only that, but good ol' tvtropes pointed me to a good website. This blog has Touhou fanfics that are really well written. The only one I've read so far was The Reinterpretation of Scarlet Devil, which was fantastic. The website has other articles, some of which are related to Touhou.
But still, Touhou is a phenomenon onto itself. Like the title of this entry states, Touhou is a work of doujin; as such, it's almost like it has no trademark. It's something that can be enjoyed for free (If you stick with the demo versions) and something fans can contribute to. As the Touhou imageboard (yes, there is one) once said, "Touhou is the only series where its fanon is its canon!" Make of that what you will. And, some of that fanon is pretty interesting, if I do say so myself. Look up Tsurupettan on youtube if you wanna know what I mean.
Of course, I am also aware that nearly every character is female. And most of them cater to stereotypical fetishes. Still, that doesn't mean they aren't cute. In fact, I've come to change my mind about something:
peoples, in the past, I never liked catgirls. Never understood their appeal. Never thought they were cute. Certainly never thought they were sexy either. And yet, Chen from Touhou is just adorable!
It's true! There are cute catgirls out there after all! Well, goes to show, it never hurts to have an open mind.
Although I still don't understand the fetishization of catgirls, but that's an issue for another day.
SPOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!
I love The Tick.
Easily one of the funniest cartoon series I've ever seen, The Tick is one of the few American cartoon series I've seen that is both kid-friendly and something I still enjoy even today. I watched this on tv back when I was a kid, and I loved it. I watch it on youtube today on occasion, and I still love it. The Tick is enjoyable to kids, teens, and adults.
Why? Because it's one of the greatest send-ups of superheroes and supervillains ever. The Tick is a complete idiot who's pathologically obsessed with doing good, and is "Nigh Invulnerable." His sidekick Arthur has more common sense, but is much more cowardly. Oddly enough, the two of them are actually more competent than the other superheroes of "The City." The other heroes are all spoofs of famous comic book protagonists, and every one of them cracks me up. And the supervillains are equally inept, including the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight.
And also, there are some jokes I get now that I didn't as a kid. For example, only recently have I realized that Arthur sounds a lot like Matthew Broderick. And that Die Fliedermaus, the Batman parody, sounds like Adam West. (Wow! I didn't know Cam Clarke could do a convincing impression of Adam We!) And only now do I get that Sewer Urchin is a parody of both Aquaman and Dustin Hoffman's character from Rainman. This only adds to the rewatch value, especially to me after all these years.
I'm even a fan of the short-lived live-action series. ("This vending machine is now my bitch.") Although in the long run, I like the animated series the most. So if you've never seen the Tick, do so. If I of all people recommend it, that's gotta account for something.
And remember, HONK IF YOU CRAVE JUSTICE!!!!! (Man, I swear, if the internet was as widespread back in the mid 90's like it is now, that would be an internet meme, no doubt about it.)
Easily one of the funniest cartoon series I've ever seen, The Tick is one of the few American cartoon series I've seen that is both kid-friendly and something I still enjoy even today. I watched this on tv back when I was a kid, and I loved it. I watch it on youtube today on occasion, and I still love it. The Tick is enjoyable to kids, teens, and adults.
Why? Because it's one of the greatest send-ups of superheroes and supervillains ever. The Tick is a complete idiot who's pathologically obsessed with doing good, and is "Nigh Invulnerable." His sidekick Arthur has more common sense, but is much more cowardly. Oddly enough, the two of them are actually more competent than the other superheroes of "The City." The other heroes are all spoofs of famous comic book protagonists, and every one of them cracks me up. And the supervillains are equally inept, including the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight.
And also, there are some jokes I get now that I didn't as a kid. For example, only recently have I realized that Arthur sounds a lot like Matthew Broderick. And that Die Fliedermaus, the Batman parody, sounds like Adam West. (Wow! I didn't know Cam Clarke could do a convincing impression of Adam We!) And only now do I get that Sewer Urchin is a parody of both Aquaman and Dustin Hoffman's character from Rainman. This only adds to the rewatch value, especially to me after all these years.
I'm even a fan of the short-lived live-action series. ("This vending machine is now my bitch.") Although in the long run, I like the animated series the most. So if you've never seen the Tick, do so. If I of all people recommend it, that's gotta account for something.
And remember, HONK IF YOU CRAVE JUSTICE!!!!! (Man, I swear, if the internet was as widespread back in the mid 90's like it is now, that would be an internet meme, no doubt about it.)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Real World vs Internet World
There are two different worlds out there; Real World, and Internet World. I've spent time in both.
Real World is pretty obvious. It's that space we all occupy on the planet Earth. In Real World, we eat, we sleep, we work, we play, we interact with people, and at least at one point, we die. Most people in the world are familiar with Real World, sometimes more than they want to be.
Internet World is that place that can be viewed only with a computer, cell phone, or Xbox Live. Internet World is electronic, and people on Internet World can hide their Real World identities if they so desire. As of right now, you are in Internet World, because you're reading this blog. The moment you veer your eyes away from your monitor, you go back into Real World.
However, I've noticed a bit of disconnect between Real World and Internet World, especially when it comes to my fields of expertise. Like the Final Fantasy games for example.
In Real World, nearly every FF fanatic loves FF7 the most. Every game after that one "sucks", simply in the virtue that they're not FF7. And the games that pre-date FF7? Most of them haven't played those either, because they're "old" games, and they're not FF7 anyways. Trying to find anyone other than myself who's even played FF1 thru 6 is a task in of itself.
In Internet World, however? Seems like everyone outside of GameFAQs hates FF7, and instead praises FF6 instead, because it's supposedly more "hardcore." And . . . then you have guys like me, who think both FF6 and FF7 are overrated, (though only slightly, thankfully) and throw their votes for something like FF9 or FF10 instead.
Now, let's look at anime (since I got Death Note vol. 2 on DVD now).
In Real World, if you bring up the subject of anime, you will likely get one of three reactions, "Huh? There are cartoons from Japan?" "You mean like Dragonball Z?" or "Those shows where everyone has huge round eyes and the English voices are out of sync with the lip movements?" (Luckily, I've never met anybody in person who assumed all anime was "Porn." Might have something to do with the fact that I wasn't a fan back in the early 90's.) If, by chance, you meet someone in Real World who knows that there's more anime in the world than Pokemon, Dragonball, and Spirited Away, chances are very good that person is either: a nerd/otaku, a scholar like myself, or just someone very informed about Japanese pop culture.
In Internet World? Not only does everyone seem to possess the knowledge of those select few in Real World who know a lot about anime, they are also very vicious about their opinions. Saying you like or dislike a series/movie/genre/author could generate a flamewar.
Actually, that's true of everything in Internet World, not just anime. Saying you don't like a certain game, or a certain kind of music, or whatever else could be just the spark to ignite a flamewar.
I read a great truth somewhere earlier this morning, "Merely posting your opinion will offend somebody, and on the internet, you may as well be lobbing grenades from the safety of your anonymity, as if it were your bunker."
Really? So everytime I say, "FUCK SLAYERS!" I'm lobbing an incendiary? Awesome!
And I'm just touching the tip of the iceberg right now. There's a lot more to this subject. I will cover it another day.
Real World is pretty obvious. It's that space we all occupy on the planet Earth. In Real World, we eat, we sleep, we work, we play, we interact with people, and at least at one point, we die. Most people in the world are familiar with Real World, sometimes more than they want to be.
Internet World is that place that can be viewed only with a computer, cell phone, or Xbox Live. Internet World is electronic, and people on Internet World can hide their Real World identities if they so desire. As of right now, you are in Internet World, because you're reading this blog. The moment you veer your eyes away from your monitor, you go back into Real World.
However, I've noticed a bit of disconnect between Real World and Internet World, especially when it comes to my fields of expertise. Like the Final Fantasy games for example.
In Real World, nearly every FF fanatic loves FF7 the most. Every game after that one "sucks", simply in the virtue that they're not FF7. And the games that pre-date FF7? Most of them haven't played those either, because they're "old" games, and they're not FF7 anyways. Trying to find anyone other than myself who's even played FF1 thru 6 is a task in of itself.
In Internet World, however? Seems like everyone outside of GameFAQs hates FF7, and instead praises FF6 instead, because it's supposedly more "hardcore." And . . . then you have guys like me, who think both FF6 and FF7 are overrated, (though only slightly, thankfully) and throw their votes for something like FF9 or FF10 instead.
Now, let's look at anime (since I got Death Note vol. 2 on DVD now).
In Real World, if you bring up the subject of anime, you will likely get one of three reactions, "Huh? There are cartoons from Japan?" "You mean like Dragonball Z?" or "Those shows where everyone has huge round eyes and the English voices are out of sync with the lip movements?" (Luckily, I've never met anybody in person who assumed all anime was "Porn." Might have something to do with the fact that I wasn't a fan back in the early 90's.) If, by chance, you meet someone in Real World who knows that there's more anime in the world than Pokemon, Dragonball, and Spirited Away, chances are very good that person is either: a nerd/otaku, a scholar like myself, or just someone very informed about Japanese pop culture.
In Internet World? Not only does everyone seem to possess the knowledge of those select few in Real World who know a lot about anime, they are also very vicious about their opinions. Saying you like or dislike a series/movie/genre/author could generate a flamewar.
Actually, that's true of everything in Internet World, not just anime. Saying you don't like a certain game, or a certain kind of music, or whatever else could be just the spark to ignite a flamewar.
I read a great truth somewhere earlier this morning, "Merely posting your opinion will offend somebody, and on the internet, you may as well be lobbing grenades from the safety of your anonymity, as if it were your bunker."
Really? So everytime I say, "FUCK SLAYERS!" I'm lobbing an incendiary? Awesome!
And I'm just touching the tip of the iceberg right now. There's a lot more to this subject. I will cover it another day.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
*Insert memes I do like*
So it's pretty obvious that I am a fan of this site. As well as this site. I've made a couple of references to the former in the past. Allow me to make more.
*ahem*
I know! Let's start off with the fact that I once took the name of a video game possum in the past, Sparkster. This undoubtedly would make me an expert on possums.
"What sound does a possum make?"
That's a very good question. Most people assume that since possums are mammals, and small game, that they squeak like rats. That is not true. Possums communicate not by audible sounds, but rather, by playing air guitar. Yes.
Unfortunately, since I know nothing about extracting and editing film, I will be unable to do any 5 second movies of my own. However, I have considered renting Gears of War 2 again. I haven't beaten the game yet, and I also really want to do this.
*I am playing the GOW 2 botmatch mode. An enemy player gets right next to me. I have the Lancer rifle equipped*
[Me] You, sir, are a Locust, whereas *activates chainsaw built into Lancer*
I AM A MAN!!!!!!
*chainsaws enemy Locust to death*
FUCK YEAH! (with all due apologies to Seaking)
However, I must admit, in many action games, throwing hand grenades is haphazard at best. Too often I end up hurting or killing myself using them, like this one time I was playing Half-Life 2 . . .
*flashback to me playing HL2. I equip the grenades. I throw up, but find it blowing up in my face. My health goes from 100 to 18*
OH, YOU FOOL! THROW THE GRENADE AT THE COMBINE, GORDON! NOT YOURSELF!!!!
*back to the present*
Yeah, I know what it's like. Oh, I forgot to mention something in my review of Lunar for the PS1: THERE'S THIS SCENE WHERE YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A BLOB, AND THE BLOB REGENERATES HEALTH, BUT IF YOU KEEP HITTING IT WITH YOUR STRONGEST ATTACKS, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY KILL IT! HURRAY!!!!
Yeah, forgot to mention that. Oh, on thatguywiththeglasses, there's this new guy called Y Ruler of Time, and he reviews manga. His video quality is poor, but his reviews are great. His thoughts on Naruto are nearly the same as my own. Also, in his review of Hana-Kimi, he shows that shoujo manga will turn anyone girly, even manly men. Pfft. Yeah. Like that ever happens to me.
*flashback to when I was reading Sailor Moon on onemanga.com*
The Sailor Senshi are just adorable!
KAWAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!
Even Luna the cat is cute! *giggles* I never realized Sailor Moon was so, heartfelt! It brings a smile to my face! ^_^
*back to the present*
Okay, so I lied. But, you wanna know something that just bugs me? In this day and age, there are videogame villains who still have no motive other than simply to, you guessed it, try to take over the world.
OF COURSE!!!!
But still, you know what amazes me? The internet. The internet itself amazes me. It truly is a marvel of modern technology.
(In bad impersonation of Hitler) Of course! Don't you know any zang about science!?
Yes, yes I do. I'm xm0123. I write this because I am bored out of my skull. And now if you'll excuse me, my never ending search for Alchemy Land continues. *Insert Indiana Jones theme*
Uh, in case you didn't get it, the reason I would look for a place like Alchemy Land is because Fullmetal Alchemist has alchemy in it, so therefore, Alchemy Land must be awesome like FMA is. duh.
*ahem*
I know! Let's start off with the fact that I once took the name of a video game possum in the past, Sparkster. This undoubtedly would make me an expert on possums.
"What sound does a possum make?"
That's a very good question. Most people assume that since possums are mammals, and small game, that they squeak like rats. That is not true. Possums communicate not by audible sounds, but rather, by playing air guitar. Yes.
Unfortunately, since I know nothing about extracting and editing film, I will be unable to do any 5 second movies of my own. However, I have considered renting Gears of War 2 again. I haven't beaten the game yet, and I also really want to do this.
*I am playing the GOW 2 botmatch mode. An enemy player gets right next to me. I have the Lancer rifle equipped*
[Me] You, sir, are a Locust, whereas *activates chainsaw built into Lancer*
I AM A MAN!!!!!!
*chainsaws enemy Locust to death*
FUCK YEAH! (with all due apologies to Seaking)
However, I must admit, in many action games, throwing hand grenades is haphazard at best. Too often I end up hurting or killing myself using them, like this one time I was playing Half-Life 2 . . .
*flashback to me playing HL2. I equip the grenades. I throw up, but find it blowing up in my face. My health goes from 100 to 18*
OH, YOU FOOL! THROW THE GRENADE AT THE COMBINE, GORDON! NOT YOURSELF!!!!
*back to the present*
Yeah, I know what it's like. Oh, I forgot to mention something in my review of Lunar for the PS1: THERE'S THIS SCENE WHERE YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A BLOB, AND THE BLOB REGENERATES HEALTH, BUT IF YOU KEEP HITTING IT WITH YOUR STRONGEST ATTACKS, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY KILL IT! HURRAY!!!!
Yeah, forgot to mention that. Oh, on thatguywiththeglasses, there's this new guy called Y Ruler of Time, and he reviews manga. His video quality is poor, but his reviews are great. His thoughts on Naruto are nearly the same as my own. Also, in his review of Hana-Kimi, he shows that shoujo manga will turn anyone girly, even manly men. Pfft. Yeah. Like that ever happens to me.
*flashback to when I was reading Sailor Moon on onemanga.com*
The Sailor Senshi are just adorable!
KAWAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!
Even Luna the cat is cute! *giggles* I never realized Sailor Moon was so, heartfelt! It brings a smile to my face! ^_^
*back to the present*
Okay, so I lied. But, you wanna know something that just bugs me? In this day and age, there are videogame villains who still have no motive other than simply to, you guessed it, try to take over the world.
OF COURSE!!!!
But still, you know what amazes me? The internet. The internet itself amazes me. It truly is a marvel of modern technology.
(In bad impersonation of Hitler) Of course! Don't you know any zang about science!?
Yes, yes I do. I'm xm0123. I write this because I am bored out of my skull. And now if you'll excuse me, my never ending search for Alchemy Land continues. *Insert Indiana Jones theme*
Uh, in case you didn't get it, the reason I would look for a place like Alchemy Land is because Fullmetal Alchemist has alchemy in it, so therefore, Alchemy Land must be awesome like FMA is. duh.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Count me in . . . but only as a spectator
I'm not normally a fan of crossovers. In my honest opinion, most crossovers are stupid, ruin the series' respective canons, and only exist to appease idiot fanboys who wanna see, "Who would really win, Bowser, or Ganondorf!?" There's only two crossovers I've ever seen done right. One of them being Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle. The other . . . that's an article for another time.
Of course, I'm just talking likable crossovers story-wise. Gameplay, that's different.
There's a lot of fighting game crossovers. I mean, just look at the success of The Only Nintendo Series Anyone Gives a Shit About Anymore(tm), better known as Super Smash Bros. Or all those Capcom versus Marvel versus SNK versus Namco versus whoever else. Since fighting games usually don't have storylines, crossovers are much easier to do. I'll admit, I was hesitant to play the N64 Smash when it first came out; all of my childhood icons fighting one another seemed sacrilegious. But then, I realized, these games, they're basically combat simulators; what would happen if Mario did fight Pikachu to the death? You can find out in these games. And luckily for me, N64 Smash was a decent rental. (However, I still maintain that the Naruto: Ultimate Ninja games are the only one-on-one fighters that I have truly loved.)
However, what if someone were to take that idea, to the next level?
Someone has. In the form of MUGEN.
Mugen is a freeware game I recently discovered. It's a fighing game where you can import custom-made fighters, stages, music, graphics, et cetera. It makes sense, since Mugen is Japanese for "infinite." The possibilities are endless.
It's only a bummer that I CAN'T WORK THE PROGRAM PROPERLY! And even when I can get it running, the game just plays like a Street Fighter knockoff. After having played Ultimate Ninja to death, I just can't go back to other fighting games anymore.
But, I can still enjoy Mugen, for you see, Youtube exists for a reason.
There are youtubers who are also devout Mugenites. They do videos of characters fighting each other. I have seen some weird matchups. Here's one, I saw a video where the player was Deadpool, from Marvel Comics. Guess who he was fighting?
Miku Hatsune.
Swear to God. It was as crazy as you can imagine. I laughed quite a bit when I saw that. It seems the most popular characters are anime characters, fighting game characters (a lot of Guilty Gear fans on youtube), as well as characters from DC and Marvel publications.
But you know what else they have? Beatdowns of crappy characters.
Not crappy characters per se, but rather poorly programmed characters. Mugenites call them retarded characters. Mugen, being freeware, means anyone can upload content, regardless of how bad it is. Boy howdy, there are some glitchy "tards" made for Mugen. There's a video where Peter Griffin fights a poorly programmed Peter Griffin. It was surreal, yet really amusing to see Pea Tear Gri Fin fighting a half-assed version of himself. I also saw another one where an original character, namely, a Japanese pop-up text block, fight a poorly programmed Digimon, a buggy rendition of a boss from the Streets of Rage games, a horrible rendition of Silver Surfer, and a Klonoa who was clearly pre-alpha. And the background? The food level from Earthworm Jim 2. With music from said level.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been mindscrewed. But I mean that in a good way.
Ah yes, where else can you see Haruhi Suzumiya lay the smack down on Duke Nukem? Or see Konata Izumi do her hurricane kick on Tifa Lockhart? Why Mugen, of course! Provided you can find all the characters and whatnot from the web. Good luck with that.
Oh, and there is a Mugen version of most of the girls on my Insanely Cute Anime Girl list. I won't go through them, 'cause that would just fill the rest of this entry with a bunch of huge bolded text filled with exclamation points followed by italicized text reading, "Oh yes! It was her!" followed by anime-esque smilies. So I'll spare you . . . today.
Of course, I'm just talking likable crossovers story-wise. Gameplay, that's different.
There's a lot of fighting game crossovers. I mean, just look at the success of The Only Nintendo Series Anyone Gives a Shit About Anymore(tm), better known as Super Smash Bros. Or all those Capcom versus Marvel versus SNK versus Namco versus whoever else. Since fighting games usually don't have storylines, crossovers are much easier to do. I'll admit, I was hesitant to play the N64 Smash when it first came out; all of my childhood icons fighting one another seemed sacrilegious. But then, I realized, these games, they're basically combat simulators; what would happen if Mario did fight Pikachu to the death? You can find out in these games. And luckily for me, N64 Smash was a decent rental. (However, I still maintain that the Naruto: Ultimate Ninja games are the only one-on-one fighters that I have truly loved.)
However, what if someone were to take that idea, to the next level?
Someone has. In the form of MUGEN.
Mugen is a freeware game I recently discovered. It's a fighing game where you can import custom-made fighters, stages, music, graphics, et cetera. It makes sense, since Mugen is Japanese for "infinite." The possibilities are endless.
It's only a bummer that I CAN'T WORK THE PROGRAM PROPERLY! And even when I can get it running, the game just plays like a Street Fighter knockoff. After having played Ultimate Ninja to death, I just can't go back to other fighting games anymore.
But, I can still enjoy Mugen, for you see, Youtube exists for a reason.
There are youtubers who are also devout Mugenites. They do videos of characters fighting each other. I have seen some weird matchups. Here's one, I saw a video where the player was Deadpool, from Marvel Comics. Guess who he was fighting?
Miku Hatsune.
Swear to God. It was as crazy as you can imagine. I laughed quite a bit when I saw that. It seems the most popular characters are anime characters, fighting game characters (a lot of Guilty Gear fans on youtube), as well as characters from DC and Marvel publications.
But you know what else they have? Beatdowns of crappy characters.
Not crappy characters per se, but rather poorly programmed characters. Mugenites call them retarded characters. Mugen, being freeware, means anyone can upload content, regardless of how bad it is. Boy howdy, there are some glitchy "tards" made for Mugen. There's a video where Peter Griffin fights a poorly programmed Peter Griffin. It was surreal, yet really amusing to see Pea Tear Gri Fin fighting a half-assed version of himself. I also saw another one where an original character, namely, a Japanese pop-up text block, fight a poorly programmed Digimon, a buggy rendition of a boss from the Streets of Rage games, a horrible rendition of Silver Surfer, and a Klonoa who was clearly pre-alpha. And the background? The food level from Earthworm Jim 2. With music from said level.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been mindscrewed. But I mean that in a good way.
Ah yes, where else can you see Haruhi Suzumiya lay the smack down on Duke Nukem? Or see Konata Izumi do her hurricane kick on Tifa Lockhart? Why Mugen, of course! Provided you can find all the characters and whatnot from the web. Good luck with that.
Oh, and there is a Mugen version of most of the girls on my Insanely Cute Anime Girl list. I won't go through them, 'cause that would just fill the rest of this entry with a bunch of huge bolded text filled with exclamation points followed by italicized text reading, "Oh yes! It was her!" followed by anime-esque smilies. So I'll spare you . . . today.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
it's already happening
So, second episode of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (FMAB) is out now. It was awesome. It was almost word for word, and image for image, like scenes from the manga.
But boys and girls, it's already happening. There's already friction between fans of the old anime and fans of the new anime.
I knew this would happen. This almost always happens in a fanbase. Well, in this issue, I can't stay neutral. I like FMAB more than the older FMA anime, simply because it follows the original Hiromu Arakawa manga more closely, which I think has much better writing than the older anime.
Make of that what you will.
Now that I've made myself a mark for those who prefer the older anime, let's move on to something else.
The second box set of Death Note is out now. It will probably be the last anime I buy in a while.
Let's move on to something else.
I have a few posts in the making right now. They're both retrospectives on things from my childhood. Expect to see them in the near future.
Let's again move on to something else.
Folks, it's time I came clean. There is one thing I like about Japanese comics I like over American comics, and that is this: I like the character artwork more.
However, there is something else; I don't really find the huge, moon-shaped eyes of most anime/manga characters have to be very attractive. I know why the eyes are drawn that way; because it's more visually expressive than if they were drawn like realistic human eyes. On the other hand, it clearly looks fake. Even (make-believe) girls and women who sport an eye color I like will not have nice eyes, not if they're an anime or manga chick anyways. Misato from Eva? One of the few make-believe women I think is "hot." Even sports my favorite eye color, and yet . . . her eyes aren't very pretty. It's true! Even (most of) the fictional girls I do have a platonic crush on, their eyes aren't attractive! Please don't hate me Yukari-chan!
Then again . . .
recall Rinoa from Final Fantasy 8. Unlike in some FF games, Square went for a photorealistic look for that game. And as such, Rinoa actually has what looks like normal eyes. This explains why she's the prettiest videogame character I've ever seen; her eyes clinch it!
Wow, I'm such a rebel for not preferring T&A.
Well, that's all for today. Join me next time where I will most likely rave about something I haven't talked about yet. You may (or may not) be surprised.
But boys and girls, it's already happening. There's already friction between fans of the old anime and fans of the new anime.
I knew this would happen. This almost always happens in a fanbase. Well, in this issue, I can't stay neutral. I like FMAB more than the older FMA anime, simply because it follows the original Hiromu Arakawa manga more closely, which I think has much better writing than the older anime.
Make of that what you will.
Now that I've made myself a mark for those who prefer the older anime, let's move on to something else.
The second box set of Death Note is out now. It will probably be the last anime I buy in a while.
Let's move on to something else.
I have a few posts in the making right now. They're both retrospectives on things from my childhood. Expect to see them in the near future.
Let's again move on to something else.
Folks, it's time I came clean. There is one thing I like about Japanese comics I like over American comics, and that is this: I like the character artwork more.
However, there is something else; I don't really find the huge, moon-shaped eyes of most anime/manga characters have to be very attractive. I know why the eyes are drawn that way; because it's more visually expressive than if they were drawn like realistic human eyes. On the other hand, it clearly looks fake. Even (make-believe) girls and women who sport an eye color I like will not have nice eyes, not if they're an anime or manga chick anyways. Misato from Eva? One of the few make-believe women I think is "hot." Even sports my favorite eye color, and yet . . . her eyes aren't very pretty. It's true! Even (most of) the fictional girls I do have a platonic crush on, their eyes aren't attractive! Please don't hate me Yukari-chan!
Then again . . .
recall Rinoa from Final Fantasy 8. Unlike in some FF games, Square went for a photorealistic look for that game. And as such, Rinoa actually has what looks like normal eyes. This explains why she's the prettiest videogame character I've ever seen; her eyes clinch it!
Wow, I'm such a rebel for not preferring T&A.
Well, that's all for today. Join me next time where I will most likely rave about something I haven't talked about yet. You may (or may not) be surprised.
Monday, April 13, 2009
And now a conclusion to this mess
Let's go back to animenewsnetwork.com. More specifically, its messageboard.
This is a forum I have a love/hate relationship with. The love part? Some of the forumers are bona fide lovers of animated film, who respect it as much as live-action film, who don't have stereotyped views of Japanese people and culture, and who support the industry as much as they can, be they sub viewers, dub viewers, or both. Many also have an appreciation for manga. Some, like me, prefer manga over anime, and are not looked down upon for this.
The hate part? Many of its members proudly proclaim themselves to be otakus, without irony and without denial. Many of them ONLY watch anime, nothing else, and despise Western pop culture entirely. At least one person prefers anime women over real women. Oh, and remember how I hated the NPF because its members would hate you for liking a "popular" anime franchise? Guess what? ANN members do that too. Okay, okay, some of them do offer legitimate reasons for disliking Dragonball Z, like, "It dragged on too long." "I don't like the characters." "It's too silly and illogical and contradictory." but more often than not, they say they hate it simply because it's popular with "normal people." Isn't that great, readers?
And now for something somewhat related:
Look at this.
This is one of my reasons for hating the NPF nowadays, as well as some of the ANN members. The only thing the author forgot to mention in this article is how nerdlings will hate you if you like a popular anime that isn't from a "respected" creator. (like Tezuka, Miyazaki, Otomo, etc.) Of course, this probably falls under the part of hating people who like N'Sync (But, I liked All Star!) but it irks me that anime is generally something that nerds latch on to, and yet, admitting you like Naruto and/or Bleach is tantamount to Daffy Duck telling Elmer Fudd, "I'm a fiddler crab! It's fiddler crab season! Shoot me!"
And so concludes my retrospective on horrible online forums. Or, in the case of the NPF, When Good Messageboards Go Bad.
And to think, I like Joss Whedon, Tim Burton, and Johnny Depp. But at least I know they're not infallible.
This is a forum I have a love/hate relationship with. The love part? Some of the forumers are bona fide lovers of animated film, who respect it as much as live-action film, who don't have stereotyped views of Japanese people and culture, and who support the industry as much as they can, be they sub viewers, dub viewers, or both. Many also have an appreciation for manga. Some, like me, prefer manga over anime, and are not looked down upon for this.
The hate part? Many of its members proudly proclaim themselves to be otakus, without irony and without denial. Many of them ONLY watch anime, nothing else, and despise Western pop culture entirely. At least one person prefers anime women over real women. Oh, and remember how I hated the NPF because its members would hate you for liking a "popular" anime franchise? Guess what? ANN members do that too. Okay, okay, some of them do offer legitimate reasons for disliking Dragonball Z, like, "It dragged on too long." "I don't like the characters." "It's too silly and illogical and contradictory." but more often than not, they say they hate it simply because it's popular with "normal people." Isn't that great, readers?
And now for something somewhat related:
Look at this.
This is one of my reasons for hating the NPF nowadays, as well as some of the ANN members. The only thing the author forgot to mention in this article is how nerdlings will hate you if you like a popular anime that isn't from a "respected" creator. (like Tezuka, Miyazaki, Otomo, etc.) Of course, this probably falls under the part of hating people who like N'Sync (But, I liked All Star!) but it irks me that anime is generally something that nerds latch on to, and yet, admitting you like Naruto and/or Bleach is tantamount to Daffy Duck telling Elmer Fudd, "I'm a fiddler crab! It's fiddler crab season! Shoot me!"
And so concludes my retrospective on horrible online forums. Or, in the case of the NPF, When Good Messageboards Go Bad.
And to think, I like Joss Whedon, Tim Burton, and Johnny Depp. But at least I know they're not infallible.
An update on the state of things
So, apparently, the Gamespy forums are not as bad as I remembered them. It seems like they actually enforce rules now, because I looked for a long, long, time, and, I was able to find a homophobic assfuck, but it took me a long time to find such a person, and it was the only case of the lawless Gamespy forums of old eeking out right now. The douchebags are a minority now, not a majority, and I'm pretty certain the dude in question will probably be kicked out soon enough anyways, if that kind of behavior is rare now.
But, as recent as early 2007, the Gamespy forums were Hell. But, not anymore, I guess. Oh well, best not to obsess over it.
Meanwhile, I decided to take a look at the GameFAQs forums again. I still really don't like the place. You wanna know why? Here's why:
forum title: list your favorite anime series.
[gamefaqker 1] pokemon dragonball z naruto
[gamefaqker 2] macross code geass one piece
[gamefaqker 3] tengen toppa gurren lagaan flcl cowboy bebop
[me pretending to be a gamefaqker] eureka seven death note haruhi suzumiya
They are laconic as Hell! More laconic than the laconic pages of tvtropes! In my example, no one explained why they loved the anime shows they did, they must made a list and forgot about it! Again, far too inane for my liking!
Still, it's a step up from the elitism that pervades some forums I've been too.
[Me] I love Cardcaptor Sakura! It's so cute!
[troll] Ur a CLAMP whore. And a pedo. Get off my intarwebz.
And people act surprised when I say I told the Nuklearpower Forums to go to Hell.
And now, for another Tale from a Horrible Online Forum.
Back in the day, I was a hardcore fan of Sonic the Hedgehog.
"LOL! Furries!"
Shut the fuck up, Blue Yoshi! Anyways, I went to a lot of different fansites. Most of them are down now, but one still remains even today; SonicHQ. Oh sure, it hasn't been updated in months, but in the time I frequented the website, (2002 to 2004) it was hot. It also had a large messageboard.
There was two major problems with the SonicHQ forums.
Problem one: to SHQ forumers, Sonic was Sirius bidniss. In short, they cared more about Sonic and Company more than their own families! Okay, this is a slight exaggeration, but it's only slight. I even joked about this on the NPF when it was still cool. My joke went something like this:
"The SHQ forumers took Sonic too seriously. I was there when Sonic Heroes was brand new. A lot of their members said, 'if Sonic Heroes suck, I'm gonna kill myself.' Sonic Heroes came out, hundreds of forumers committed hara-kiri."
Yeah. They took the release of SH a little too far. Oh, and you should've seen their reaction when it was found out that 4Kids licensed Sonic X. Some of their complaints were justified, but on the other hand, why throw a shitfit over a franchise that already sucked in the original Japanese!? My god, peoples! Lighten up!
And problem number two? The mods. The mods were, shall I say, lawful evil. As in, they were banhammer happy. And some of their rules were just ridiculous.
There was a plus side to their iron fisted rule; anybody who said Big the Cat was "gay" got booted in a jiffy. Unfortunately, many good forumers (minus the over-reactive fans) got kicked out too, over nothing.
Most of the time, they would just issue a warning and not take any action, but get too many warnings and out you went. One of their rules was no swearing. Of any kind. I think they did let you say "damn" or "crap" but anything else would warrant a warning on the first time. But that's not the worst of it.
They also enforced this other rule, you had to be "respectful." Respectful to other forumites, sure, but they took it too far. You also could not criticize anything Sonic related. Here, I'll provide an example.
[Me] I don't like Sonic X. It's not even Sonic's cartoon. It's just about some Mary Sue who happens to be friends with Sonic. It could've been so much more.
[asstard mod] Your post is disrespectful not only to the fans of Sonic X, it is disrespectful to the creators of Sonic X as well. Retract or delete your inflammatory post now.
You see what I mean? Criticism was not allowed, not even constructive criticism. Many people got permabanned just for saying they didn't like Sonic Adventure 2, or that they thought Sonic "SatAm" was overrated. They thought saying that "offended" fans and creators.
As the Angry Video Game Nerd would say, what a shitload of fuck.
Look at me, I'm a Star Wars fans, I don't like Attack of the Clones, but I still love the franchise. I don't like any Sonic cartoon, (including your precious "SatAm" series) but I still love some of the games. What bullshit is this!?!?!?!?
Of course, that was then, earlier in the decade. This is now. Maybe the mods are less anal now. Some SHQers did criticise the mods, (becoming martyrs in doing so. Hey, getting "killed" for criticizing leadership? That sounds like something that would happen in a real-life dictatorship!) and hopefully, things are different now.
And thus concludes my current episode. Join me next time, when I come back, from the ANN messageboard.
But, as recent as early 2007, the Gamespy forums were Hell. But, not anymore, I guess. Oh well, best not to obsess over it.
Meanwhile, I decided to take a look at the GameFAQs forums again. I still really don't like the place. You wanna know why? Here's why:
forum title: list your favorite anime series.
[gamefaqker 1] pokemon dragonball z naruto
[gamefaqker 2] macross code geass one piece
[gamefaqker 3] tengen toppa gurren lagaan flcl cowboy bebop
[me pretending to be a gamefaqker] eureka seven death note haruhi suzumiya
They are laconic as Hell! More laconic than the laconic pages of tvtropes! In my example, no one explained why they loved the anime shows they did, they must made a list and forgot about it! Again, far too inane for my liking!
Still, it's a step up from the elitism that pervades some forums I've been too.
[Me] I love Cardcaptor Sakura! It's so cute!
[troll] Ur a CLAMP whore. And a pedo. Get off my intarwebz.
And people act surprised when I say I told the Nuklearpower Forums to go to Hell.
And now, for another Tale from a Horrible Online Forum.
Back in the day, I was a hardcore fan of Sonic the Hedgehog.
"LOL! Furries!"
Shut the fuck up, Blue Yoshi! Anyways, I went to a lot of different fansites. Most of them are down now, but one still remains even today; SonicHQ. Oh sure, it hasn't been updated in months, but in the time I frequented the website, (2002 to 2004) it was hot. It also had a large messageboard.
There was two major problems with the SonicHQ forums.
Problem one: to SHQ forumers, Sonic was Sirius bidniss. In short, they cared more about Sonic and Company more than their own families! Okay, this is a slight exaggeration, but it's only slight. I even joked about this on the NPF when it was still cool. My joke went something like this:
"The SHQ forumers took Sonic too seriously. I was there when Sonic Heroes was brand new. A lot of their members said, 'if Sonic Heroes suck, I'm gonna kill myself.' Sonic Heroes came out, hundreds of forumers committed hara-kiri."
Yeah. They took the release of SH a little too far. Oh, and you should've seen their reaction when it was found out that 4Kids licensed Sonic X. Some of their complaints were justified, but on the other hand, why throw a shitfit over a franchise that already sucked in the original Japanese!? My god, peoples! Lighten up!
And problem number two? The mods. The mods were, shall I say, lawful evil. As in, they were banhammer happy. And some of their rules were just ridiculous.
There was a plus side to their iron fisted rule; anybody who said Big the Cat was "gay" got booted in a jiffy. Unfortunately, many good forumers (minus the over-reactive fans) got kicked out too, over nothing.
Most of the time, they would just issue a warning and not take any action, but get too many warnings and out you went. One of their rules was no swearing. Of any kind. I think they did let you say "damn" or "crap" but anything else would warrant a warning on the first time. But that's not the worst of it.
They also enforced this other rule, you had to be "respectful." Respectful to other forumites, sure, but they took it too far. You also could not criticize anything Sonic related. Here, I'll provide an example.
[Me] I don't like Sonic X. It's not even Sonic's cartoon. It's just about some Mary Sue who happens to be friends with Sonic. It could've been so much more.
[asstard mod] Your post is disrespectful not only to the fans of Sonic X, it is disrespectful to the creators of Sonic X as well. Retract or delete your inflammatory post now.
You see what I mean? Criticism was not allowed, not even constructive criticism. Many people got permabanned just for saying they didn't like Sonic Adventure 2, or that they thought Sonic "SatAm" was overrated. They thought saying that "offended" fans and creators.
As the Angry Video Game Nerd would say, what a shitload of fuck.
Look at me, I'm a Star Wars fans, I don't like Attack of the Clones, but I still love the franchise. I don't like any Sonic cartoon, (including your precious "SatAm" series) but I still love some of the games. What bullshit is this!?!?!?!?
Of course, that was then, earlier in the decade. This is now. Maybe the mods are less anal now. Some SHQers did criticise the mods, (becoming martyrs in doing so. Hey, getting "killed" for criticizing leadership? That sounds like something that would happen in a real-life dictatorship!) and hopefully, things are different now.
And thus concludes my current episode. Join me next time, when I come back, from the ANN messageboard.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
(Insert title later)
So now, I recently finished RE5. I don't think it's as good as RE4. RE4 has the better inventory system. So there.
In other news, I got bored with the tvtropes forum. I still go to the website, and I still respect the community, I'm just not going to the forums right now, even though my profile still links to here.
Anyways, let's talk about GameFAQs.
This really is a remarkable website. I've been going there since 2005. Most of the games I have beaten since then, I have beaten with the help of a GameFAQs guide. It's rare when I can beat a game without using GameFAQs at all. It, and similar websites, has changed the face of gaming forever.
But that's not what I wanna talk about right now. I wanna talk about its members, whom I refer to as Gamefaqkers. Despite the title, it's not a derogatory name.
The GameFAQs community is infamous. Its messageboard is said to be a hive of scum and villainy. This, is probably true. However, I have visited a messageboard once, but I quit not because of trolling, (because I didn't witness any) but rather because of its inanity. EVERY POST I SAW THAT DAY WENT EXACTLY LIKE THIS:
[gamefaqker 1] Can U tell m3 how 2 git past tha boss n SOTC?
[gamefaqker 2] *post contains nothing more than a link to a Shadows of the Colossus GameFAQs page*
[gamefaqker 1] kthxbye.
IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT!? Of course, I know, this is a generalization. Given the size of GameFAQs, I'm sure some members do engage in meaningful conversation, and I'm sure some of them troll each other as well.
But you know what I like to do besides getting tips and cheats? Reading the reviews. Because GameFAQs lets anyone submit reviews, it's my go-to site for amateur game reviews.
The upside of amateur reviews: unlike professional reviewers, amateur reviewers don't have to worry about pissing off sponsors. That scandal involving a somewhat low score of Kane and Lynch? Couldn't happen in an amateur review. (And besides, that guy shouldn't have been fired; that game wasn't very good anyways.)
The downside? Amateur reviewers aren't always English majors. And they aren't always fair either. This is the ugly side of GameFAQs that I have seen. I've seen a gamefaqker diss Half-Life 2 simply because "It's not Halo 3." I've seen Nintendo fanboyism, Sony fanboyism, rampant homophobia, fangirlish squeeing, (that last part is totally not made up on my part), They Changed It Now It Sucks, the works.
And the worst of it? Any negative review of Final Fantasy 12 ever posted on GameFAQs.
Holy mother of fuck.
I mean, I know FF12 isn't my favorite game in the franchise, but still, peoples, it doesn't suck. Oh yeah, you got your graphics whores, your storyline whores, (definitely a lot of storyline whores, that's for sure) you name it.
And yet, every now and then, there's a really good review, even if it's one I disagree with. It's like shifting through mud (or bullshit in the case of FF12 bashing) and finding the occasional gold nugget.
Yeah. GameFAQs is a gift. And a curse.
But peoples, I'm surprised at your attitudes. You think GameFAQs is the worst gamer community ever? Oh, not by a long shot. I mean, sure, there is the occasional boorish troll, but trust me, I have been to the abyss. I may be the only person to travel to Hell, and return with my soul intact, for I seem to be the only person who reports the godlessness of what really is the worst online gamer community ever.
I speak of none other than the Gamespy forums.
Gamespy itself? Great website. Its forums? Worst. Forums. EVER. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER.
How can I best describe it? Okay, you know how people complain about people that play games that appeal to guys insecure in their masculinity? You know, like Halo, Gears of War, and so on? You remember what people often say? "Don't ever turn on your headphones unless you wanna year a 12 year old cuss you out."
The gamespy forums is those 12 year olds, only replace the game with an online community.
I'm dead serious; many of its members actually are kids. Kids who figured out that cussing and being a retarded immature fucktarded asshole on the Gamespy forums doesn't get them in trouble. It's true! The times I've seen them admit their age, they're often between 10 to 14. Dead fucking serious! But then again, it makes complete sense.
And also, there is no moderation. No. Moderation. To speak of. Oh sure, they claim there are rules, and that punishers will be kicked off, but that's bullshit. No one enforces anything.
So: immature boys + complete state of anarchy + complete abuse of said anarchy = such classy lines as:
(note, they are all paraphrased. I sure as shit ain't lookin' up the actual quotes.)
"Metal Gear Solid is the best game ever made, and if you disagree with me, then you're a queer."
"Doom 3 is the worst game ever made." "Shut the fuck up, fucking faggot!" "Suk my mutherfucking cok!"
"Final Fantasy 10 sucks because it's not Final Fantasy 7. And it's also really gay."
"Why else? I'm just disagreeing with you just to piss you off."
"Zelda fans are homos! Play some real games for once, you fucking Nintendo fanbabies!"
(In a thread about Star Wars: KOTOR) "Only pussies play the Light Side!"
Buuuuuuuuut,
that seemed to be true back in the earlier part of this decade. I just got back from its forums like a second ago. I didn't see any douchebaggery. I even saw a forumer deride the "homophobic assbags that dominate the gaming demographic." (Again, a paraphrase). Hmm, could it be that Gamespy has redeemed itself? Do they actually moderate now? Ah man! That kills all of my fun!
But it doesn't change the fact that, at least back in the PS2/GC/Xbox generation, it was a bad, bad place. So bad, it was horrible. But not anymore, apparently.
Oh whatever. I'll just go back to rolling my eyes at all the Gamefaqkers who hate FF12 for bullshit reasons again.
In other news, I got bored with the tvtropes forum. I still go to the website, and I still respect the community, I'm just not going to the forums right now, even though my profile still links to here.
Anyways, let's talk about GameFAQs.
This really is a remarkable website. I've been going there since 2005. Most of the games I have beaten since then, I have beaten with the help of a GameFAQs guide. It's rare when I can beat a game without using GameFAQs at all. It, and similar websites, has changed the face of gaming forever.
But that's not what I wanna talk about right now. I wanna talk about its members, whom I refer to as Gamefaqkers. Despite the title, it's not a derogatory name.
The GameFAQs community is infamous. Its messageboard is said to be a hive of scum and villainy. This, is probably true. However, I have visited a messageboard once, but I quit not because of trolling, (because I didn't witness any) but rather because of its inanity. EVERY POST I SAW THAT DAY WENT EXACTLY LIKE THIS:
[gamefaqker 1] Can U tell m3 how 2 git past tha boss n SOTC?
[gamefaqker 2] *post contains nothing more than a link to a Shadows of the Colossus GameFAQs page*
[gamefaqker 1] kthxbye.
IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT!? Of course, I know, this is a generalization. Given the size of GameFAQs, I'm sure some members do engage in meaningful conversation, and I'm sure some of them troll each other as well.
But you know what I like to do besides getting tips and cheats? Reading the reviews. Because GameFAQs lets anyone submit reviews, it's my go-to site for amateur game reviews.
The upside of amateur reviews: unlike professional reviewers, amateur reviewers don't have to worry about pissing off sponsors. That scandal involving a somewhat low score of Kane and Lynch? Couldn't happen in an amateur review. (And besides, that guy shouldn't have been fired; that game wasn't very good anyways.)
The downside? Amateur reviewers aren't always English majors. And they aren't always fair either. This is the ugly side of GameFAQs that I have seen. I've seen a gamefaqker diss Half-Life 2 simply because "It's not Halo 3." I've seen Nintendo fanboyism, Sony fanboyism, rampant homophobia, fangirlish squeeing, (that last part is totally not made up on my part), They Changed It Now It Sucks, the works.
And the worst of it? Any negative review of Final Fantasy 12 ever posted on GameFAQs.
Holy mother of fuck.
I mean, I know FF12 isn't my favorite game in the franchise, but still, peoples, it doesn't suck. Oh yeah, you got your graphics whores, your storyline whores, (definitely a lot of storyline whores, that's for sure) you name it.
And yet, every now and then, there's a really good review, even if it's one I disagree with. It's like shifting through mud (or bullshit in the case of FF12 bashing) and finding the occasional gold nugget.
Yeah. GameFAQs is a gift. And a curse.
But peoples, I'm surprised at your attitudes. You think GameFAQs is the worst gamer community ever? Oh, not by a long shot. I mean, sure, there is the occasional boorish troll, but trust me, I have been to the abyss. I may be the only person to travel to Hell, and return with my soul intact, for I seem to be the only person who reports the godlessness of what really is the worst online gamer community ever.
I speak of none other than the Gamespy forums.
Gamespy itself? Great website. Its forums? Worst. Forums. EVER. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER.
How can I best describe it? Okay, you know how people complain about people that play games that appeal to guys insecure in their masculinity? You know, like Halo, Gears of War, and so on? You remember what people often say? "Don't ever turn on your headphones unless you wanna year a 12 year old cuss you out."
The gamespy forums is those 12 year olds, only replace the game with an online community.
I'm dead serious; many of its members actually are kids. Kids who figured out that cussing and being a retarded immature fucktarded asshole on the Gamespy forums doesn't get them in trouble. It's true! The times I've seen them admit their age, they're often between 10 to 14. Dead fucking serious! But then again, it makes complete sense.
And also, there is no moderation. No. Moderation. To speak of. Oh sure, they claim there are rules, and that punishers will be kicked off, but that's bullshit. No one enforces anything.
So: immature boys + complete state of anarchy + complete abuse of said anarchy = such classy lines as:
(note, they are all paraphrased. I sure as shit ain't lookin' up the actual quotes.)
"Metal Gear Solid is the best game ever made, and if you disagree with me, then you're a queer."
"Doom 3 is the worst game ever made." "Shut the fuck up, fucking faggot!" "Suk my mutherfucking cok!"
"Final Fantasy 10 sucks because it's not Final Fantasy 7. And it's also really gay."
"Why else? I'm just disagreeing with you just to piss you off."
"Zelda fans are homos! Play some real games for once, you fucking Nintendo fanbabies!"
(In a thread about Star Wars: KOTOR) "Only pussies play the Light Side!"
Buuuuuuuuut,
that seemed to be true back in the earlier part of this decade. I just got back from its forums like a second ago. I didn't see any douchebaggery. I even saw a forumer deride the "homophobic assbags that dominate the gaming demographic." (Again, a paraphrase). Hmm, could it be that Gamespy has redeemed itself? Do they actually moderate now? Ah man! That kills all of my fun!
But it doesn't change the fact that, at least back in the PS2/GC/Xbox generation, it was a bad, bad place. So bad, it was horrible. But not anymore, apparently.
Oh whatever. I'll just go back to rolling my eyes at all the Gamefaqkers who hate FF12 for bullshit reasons again.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Brotherhood (Not a reference to Nod from Command & Conquer)
Now that anime distributors are streaming episodes of anime shows professionally subbed, fansubbers are becoming less prevalent. Take that, fansubbers! Of course, nothing that's aired in Japan recently has caught my attention enough to warrant me to watch an anime that hasn't been dubbed yet.
Then Funimation had to upload the pilot episode of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.
Oh, you knew I had to watch this one!
Okay, first of all, it's not word-for-word like the FMA manga. It is its own continuity. (tvtropes has already predicted it now; manga fans vs old anime fans vs new anime fans. We're screwed now) However, the first episode does hint that Brotherhood will have more in common with Hiromu Arakawa's work than the older anime did.
And something else; holy fuck the animation and artistry. Throughout the episode, I had to keep asking myself, "Is this a tv series!? From Japan!? This looks like a big budget animated movie!" I'm not kidding; FMA Brotherhood is tied with Mushi-Shi for the title of most beautiful animated tv series I've ever seen. You really have to see it for yourself. Words fail to describe what I saw. Okay, I'll try anyways: there were no flaws in the animation, the characters and backgrounds were beautifully colored, the fights were well-choreographed, and . . . and . . . yeah, I'm speechless.
However, now that I've seen FMA in Japanese for the first time, I can confirm what the anime fans who aren't dub haters already know; FMA sounds better in English. The Japanese voices aren't bad, but on the other hand, I prefer the English voices of Edward, Colonel Mustang, Major Armstrong, and Fuhrer Bradley. Still, the audio was loud and clear, and the music was epic. I like the ending credits song, too.
There's only one drawback; the Funimation video takes forever to load. It took my cable connection (which is very fast, mind you) two hours to stream the entire episode. This is DVD quality baby; be prepared.
So, if you've got the connection, and the patience, try it out. Ed and AL are my homeboys, after all.
Then Funimation had to upload the pilot episode of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.
Oh, you knew I had to watch this one!
Okay, first of all, it's not word-for-word like the FMA manga. It is its own continuity. (tvtropes has already predicted it now; manga fans vs old anime fans vs new anime fans. We're screwed now) However, the first episode does hint that Brotherhood will have more in common with Hiromu Arakawa's work than the older anime did.
And something else; holy fuck the animation and artistry. Throughout the episode, I had to keep asking myself, "Is this a tv series!? From Japan!? This looks like a big budget animated movie!" I'm not kidding; FMA Brotherhood is tied with Mushi-Shi for the title of most beautiful animated tv series I've ever seen. You really have to see it for yourself. Words fail to describe what I saw. Okay, I'll try anyways: there were no flaws in the animation, the characters and backgrounds were beautifully colored, the fights were well-choreographed, and . . . and . . . yeah, I'm speechless.
However, now that I've seen FMA in Japanese for the first time, I can confirm what the anime fans who aren't dub haters already know; FMA sounds better in English. The Japanese voices aren't bad, but on the other hand, I prefer the English voices of Edward, Colonel Mustang, Major Armstrong, and Fuhrer Bradley. Still, the audio was loud and clear, and the music was epic. I like the ending credits song, too.
There's only one drawback; the Funimation video takes forever to load. It took my cable connection (which is very fast, mind you) two hours to stream the entire episode. This is DVD quality baby; be prepared.
So, if you've got the connection, and the patience, try it out. Ed and AL are my homeboys, after all.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
boom headshot
Well finally, someone left behind a copy of Resident Evil 5 for me to rent.
My thoughts so far: I like it. It plays just like RE4, except you're not alone, the graphics are improved, and you can strafe! Well, you can't run and strafe, you can only sidestep slowly, but it's better than nothing.
The inventory system is a step forward, and a step backwards. Everything occurs in real time now, which actually ups the tension. You can't do like in RE4 and hit the pause button, heal yourself, and switch to another weapon without having to reload. You can still change your weapon on the fly, but it's in real time now. However, you can't hold as much stuff as in RE4. The size of your items is no longer an issue, for the inventory is like the older games, a 'box' for each weapon, healing item, and ammo. Key treasures are still separate, thankfully. But I liked the inventory system in RE4 more, and not just because it could let you cheat.
Aside from that one concession, it's really good. Buying and selling stuff is easier now, since you can do that anytime you load a saved game. Saving is automatic now, like in most shooter games.
Of course, some things are still the same. The controls are nearly the same. The "zombies" are nearly the same, (although you get to frag African tribesman zombies in this game, as opposed to zombiefied religious zealots like in RE4) most of the weapons are the same. The story is still average, (oh! Someone getting away with bioterrorism yet again! Whatever will we do!?) the voiceovers are still average, (but hey, anything to not suffer the PS1 RE games' voices ever again.) the only interesting character is still Wesker, the recurring villain.
If you liked RE4, you should like RE5.
My thoughts so far: I like it. It plays just like RE4, except you're not alone, the graphics are improved, and you can strafe! Well, you can't run and strafe, you can only sidestep slowly, but it's better than nothing.
The inventory system is a step forward, and a step backwards. Everything occurs in real time now, which actually ups the tension. You can't do like in RE4 and hit the pause button, heal yourself, and switch to another weapon without having to reload. You can still change your weapon on the fly, but it's in real time now. However, you can't hold as much stuff as in RE4. The size of your items is no longer an issue, for the inventory is like the older games, a 'box' for each weapon, healing item, and ammo. Key treasures are still separate, thankfully. But I liked the inventory system in RE4 more, and not just because it could let you cheat.
Aside from that one concession, it's really good. Buying and selling stuff is easier now, since you can do that anytime you load a saved game. Saving is automatic now, like in most shooter games.
Of course, some things are still the same. The controls are nearly the same. The "zombies" are nearly the same, (although you get to frag African tribesman zombies in this game, as opposed to zombiefied religious zealots like in RE4) most of the weapons are the same. The story is still average, (oh! Someone getting away with bioterrorism yet again! Whatever will we do!?) the voiceovers are still average, (but hey, anything to not suffer the PS1 RE games' voices ever again.) the only interesting character is still Wesker, the recurring villain.
If you liked RE4, you should like RE5.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
looks like there's still some left
So I just recently found out that the ANN hosts anime episodes for free. And it's all perfectly legal.
*Cue Light's Kira laugh*
Well, looks like I won't be running out of Japanese animation anytime soon! I did start watching a series on there I haven't seen. I've heard the anime version is actually better than the manga it was based off of. In that case, I dove right in.
The series is called Angelic Layer.
The good stuff: CLAMP's artwork in this franchise falls on my "love" half of my love/hate relationship with CLAMP's artwork. The animation is very good, it's cute, and the music, I love the music. It's so whimsical, I get lost just in the music itself. I like the ending song, too. And Icchan is great, in so many ways.
There's just one problem; AL on ANN is dub only. And the dub . . . was recorded by ADV.
Good god, I'm so spoiled. I just got back from playing Persona 4, which had some of the best voice-acting I've ever heard in a game. Not only that, but every anime I own on DVD sounds great in English, (most of them sound good in Japanese, too.) and I have come to idolize some voice actors and actresses as if they were Oscar-winning actors. (Then again, some of them have given Oscar-worthy performances.) Then I see AL. All of the voices are mediocre at best, there's a lot of awkward pauses, some of the Japanese terminology is mispronounced, and I just can't relate to the characters that well. I'm certain the cast was good; I saw Vic Mignogna's name in the credits, but ADV man . . . what is it about your directing and editing and policies that make every last one of your dub jobs barely better than a 4Kids dub? Is this why your company is nearly out of business now; because all the Texan VAs jumped ship for Funimation instead? Well, wouldn't surprise me if that was true. And why the hell do the ANN reviews keep singing high praises for ADV's dubs!? Is someone buying them off!?
(Now, ADV Manga on the other hand, I have no quarrel with, but we're not talking about manga right now, now are we?)
Still, I keep coming back for more AL anyways, if just for the music. I'll talk more about it another time.
Now, to be honest, I don't think I'm gonna find another anime series that will dethrone my Top Five, but I can keep watching if I want to.
Oh, my Top Five? Well, I suppose I can list it right now. Keep in mind, this is only anime series, not movies, and not "OVAs" either. Here goes.
xm0123's Five Favorite Animated tv Show From Japan:
5: Blue Gender. Because it is bloody as Hell, and bloody brilliant!
4: Cardcaptor Sakura: Because it's just so cute, and just so sweet! Awwwwwww!!!! ^_^
3: Haruhi Suzumiya: Because not listing Haruhi would entail the Death Penalty!
2: Death Note: Because potato chips have never been more epic.
1: Eureka Seven: Because . . . it made me cry! And I mean that in a good way.
Honorable Mentions go to: Mushi-Shi, GITS SAC, Trinity Blood, Fullmetal Alchemist, Scrapped Princess, and Trigun.
*Cue Light's Kira laugh*
Well, looks like I won't be running out of Japanese animation anytime soon! I did start watching a series on there I haven't seen. I've heard the anime version is actually better than the manga it was based off of. In that case, I dove right in.
The series is called Angelic Layer.
The good stuff: CLAMP's artwork in this franchise falls on my "love" half of my love/hate relationship with CLAMP's artwork. The animation is very good, it's cute, and the music, I love the music. It's so whimsical, I get lost just in the music itself. I like the ending song, too. And Icchan is great, in so many ways.
There's just one problem; AL on ANN is dub only. And the dub . . . was recorded by ADV.
Good god, I'm so spoiled. I just got back from playing Persona 4, which had some of the best voice-acting I've ever heard in a game. Not only that, but every anime I own on DVD sounds great in English, (most of them sound good in Japanese, too.) and I have come to idolize some voice actors and actresses as if they were Oscar-winning actors. (Then again, some of them have given Oscar-worthy performances.) Then I see AL. All of the voices are mediocre at best, there's a lot of awkward pauses, some of the Japanese terminology is mispronounced, and I just can't relate to the characters that well. I'm certain the cast was good; I saw Vic Mignogna's name in the credits, but ADV man . . . what is it about your directing and editing and policies that make every last one of your dub jobs barely better than a 4Kids dub? Is this why your company is nearly out of business now; because all the Texan VAs jumped ship for Funimation instead? Well, wouldn't surprise me if that was true. And why the hell do the ANN reviews keep singing high praises for ADV's dubs!? Is someone buying them off!?
(Now, ADV Manga on the other hand, I have no quarrel with, but we're not talking about manga right now, now are we?)
Still, I keep coming back for more AL anyways, if just for the music. I'll talk more about it another time.
Now, to be honest, I don't think I'm gonna find another anime series that will dethrone my Top Five, but I can keep watching if I want to.
Oh, my Top Five? Well, I suppose I can list it right now. Keep in mind, this is only anime series, not movies, and not "OVAs" either. Here goes.
xm0123's Five Favorite Animated tv Show From Japan:
5: Blue Gender. Because it is bloody as Hell, and bloody brilliant!
4: Cardcaptor Sakura: Because it's just so cute, and just so sweet! Awwwwwww!!!! ^_^
3: Haruhi Suzumiya: Because not listing Haruhi would entail the Death Penalty!
2: Death Note: Because potato chips have never been more epic.
1: Eureka Seven: Because . . . it made me cry! And I mean that in a good way.
Honorable Mentions go to: Mushi-Shi, GITS SAC, Trinity Blood, Fullmetal Alchemist, Scrapped Princess, and Trigun.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
With apologies to the women of CLAMP
[NBK] What’s on tap for today?
[Blue Yoshi] A fanfic based off of the anime adaptation of Chobits.
[NBK] Ah yes, Chobits. A CLAMP series if ever I read or saw one. Hey Vile 01, what’s the skinny on Chobits?
[Vile 01] Not much. All I’m getting from the anime fansites is that, “It’s a CLAMP series. Either you love it, or you hate it. Personally, we hate it, because it’s CLAMP.” Um, that doesn’t really answer my question, guys.
[Blue Yoshi] Hold up, the Wikipedia article is more informative. It’s a series about a boy who moves into Tokyo and adopts a custom-made android named Chii. Hideki, that’s the boy, goes about his business, but begins to question, is he in love with Chii? The series askes the question, “Is it possible for romance to develop between a normal human and an artificial human?” This series says, yes. However, Hideki is torn between Chii and a number of human women as well. It’s a romantic comedy with elements of drama.
[Vile 01] What about the author?
[NBK] The author’s handle is xm0123. According to his blog, he likes video games, manga, and works of animation. He is a self-described, “21st century scholar.” and he’s seen the Chobits anime, but not the manga.
[Vile 01] Forget that! What’s the header of this fanfic!?
[Blue Yoshi] “Loss is Not Forever.” Rating: T. Genre: comedy, drama, romance. Pairing(s): Hideki/Chitose. Hey, who’s Chitose?
[NBK] One of Hideki’s potential love interests. She’s a widowed woman who’s a little older than Hideki, and is the landlady of his apartment complex. Hideki is either 18 or 19, while Chitose is . . . she doesn’t look that much older than him, probably no younger than 27, but no older than 33. We’re looking at an April-to-June romance, or an April-to-July romance. By the way, Chitose’s dead husband was a character in Angelic Layer, another CLAMP franchise.
[Vile 01] Oh, you’ll wanna hear this, guys. You know why xm0123 is writing Hideki/Chitose het? Not only does the author claim Hideki should’ve hooked up with her instead, but also, he, as in xm0123, claims to have a “platonic crush” on Chitose.
[NBK] Uh oh! PSL Alert, guys!
[Vile 01] I dunno if it’s PSL. He said it’s platonic, as in, he’s not in love with her, and he doesn’t wanna . . . do . . . something . . . with her either. But he does claim that she’s “amazing” and that he wouldn’t mind giving her a hug.
[NBK] Wanting to hug an anime character is PSL in my book. I got a bad feeling how this is gonna go. Any last details?
[Blue Yoshi] It’s written in first person narrative, from Hideki’s viewpoint. Other than that, I think we’re ready, assuming we don’t mind reading Chobits spoilers, which I don’t.
[NBK] Me neither.
[Vile 01] Neither do I.
[NBK] Then let’s load this fucker up!
. . . Suddenly, she held my hands. She looked straight into my eyes and said, “Chii loves Hideki. Does Hideki love Chii?” I was stunned by what I heard! Chii just told me she loved me! I had to do a double take; Chii, a persocom, is in love with me!? What do I do!? What do I say to something like that!?
[Blue Yoshi] You tell yourself that it’s just a show, like we do.
. . . After trying to think it through as best as I could, I told her, “I do love you, Chii, but I love you like how an older brother would love a younger sister, or perhaps the way a father loves his daughter. You are a very special person, Chii, I enjoy your company very much, however, I can’t say that I’m in love with you.” Almost as if on cue, she let go of my hands, and started staring off into space. She asked in a more flat tone, “You . . . don’t . . . love . . . me?” Her voice started making garbled noises, and her head started jerking about violently, like she was being short-circuited.
[NBK] Oh no! It looks like a case of Die For Our Ship! The Hideki/Chii Ship is going down faster than the Titanic!
[Blue Yoshi] Somebody call Celine Dion, tell her she’s got another gig tonight.
[Vile 01] *dialing numbers on his cell phone* Already on it!
***
. . . She looked at me with a grim look on her face. “I’m afraid her hard drive’s completely crashed. Even if I manage to reboot her, she won’t remember anything.
[Vile 01] Hideki: “So that means if I reactivated her now, I could re-educate her into becoming my own sex slave!?” Chitose: “It’s possible.” Hideki: “Best case of amnesia ever!!!!”
***
. . . Minoru looked at his PC with a puzzled look on his face. “So basically, you’re saying Chii went kaput because you rejected her?” I told him, “But I didn’t say anything to harm her! I just said I wasn’t in love with her!”
[NBK] Hideki: “Of course, there was that time I fondled her boobs, but that was an accident! And what girl kills herself because of a mishap like that!?”
[Blue Yoshi] Hey, you know what this reminds me of? That episode of the original Star Trek where an inventor presents a computer to the Enterprise, then the computer takes over the Enterprise, and then starts killing people, because it (the computer) perceives everyone to be a threat. Captain Kirk, through the power of dramatic pauses, convinces the computer that it has killed in cold blood, and that the penalty for murder is death. Upon this realization, the computer shuts itself off, effectively committing suicide. I guess things driven by AIs have a tendency to do this.
[NBK] Or maybe Chii’s just doing what her twin sister would do in her situation; things getting too emo? Hit the kill switch! It must run in the family.
[Vile 01] Nah. Chii and Freya are just so human-like, they, like human teenage girls, have the tendency to slit their wrists when things don’t go their way, only, replace “slit their wrists” with “reformat hard drive.”
[NBK] Dude, I think that’s insensitive towards those who really have tried to kill themselves by cutting their wrists.
***
. . . That night, I had a dream. I had come home from an arduous day of work, but my home was not the apartment, but rather, a really nice condo. I go inside, drop off my stuff, when suddenly, someone grabs me from behind. I turn around and see Chii, except she is lifeless.
[Blue Yoshi] Dude, you ever thought about hitting her on button first?
[NBK] Yeah, but do you remember where her on/off switch is? Let’s just say I’m glad guys like Beavis and Butthead didn’t get to Chii first.
[Vile 01] Beavis: “Heh heh, heh heh! So like, there’s this robot chick, heh heh, and to turn her on, you have to like, touch her between the legs, if you know what I mean, heh heh!” Butthead: “Uh huh huh huh huh, uh huh huh, you said ‘turn on!’ Uh huh huh huh!”
[Blue Yoshi] Then again, it is a dream sequence; it’s not supposed to make any sense.
It took me a long time before I could fall asleep again. By the time I finally did, I had another dream. It started off just like the one before; I go inside of a condo, I drop my things off, and someone grabs me, no, hugs me from behind. I turn around, thinking it’s Chii again, but to my surprise, it wasn’t Chii at all; it was Miss Hibiya! She said, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” The sound of her voice was so . . . pleasant, and soothing. Dumbfounded by all of this, all I could say to her was, “Where’s Chii?”
[NBK] Making extra rounds at the Persocom Strip Club.
[Vile 01] Making yet another cameo appearance in Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle.
[Blue Yoshi] Trying to find that damned fourth Emerald. These things don’t find themselves, ya know!
***
. . . As I set off for school, I saw Miss Hibiya sweeping the walks again, as usual. However, because of what happened last night, I suddenly found myself becoming really nervous. Looking at her, I realized, she really does have a pretty face, she really does have pretty eyes, and she really does have pretty long black hair!
[Vile 01] Hideki: “It was at that precise moment that I reached a private climax inside of my pants.”
[NBK] *hits Vile 01* For Christ’s sake, have some dignity!
[Vile 01] What!? It was funnier in my head!
***
. . . “I’m sorry about what happened to Chii.” Hiromu told me. “It’s not easy to lose a Persocom you’ve spent a lot of time with.” I said, “I know. Miss Hibiya is doing everyting she can to restore her, but that’s not why I invited you over to the diner. There’s something else I wanted to discuss with you.”
[Blue Yoshi] Hideki: “I deserve Miss Shimizu, not you!”
[NBK] Hideki: “Sumomo is just adorable! Where can I find a model just like her!?”
Hiromu replied, “Sure. You can tell me anything.” I suddenly found myself getting nervous again. I was blushing, and I stammered, “It’s about Miss Hibiya.” I paused for a second, then Hiromu said, “What about Miss Hibiya?” It was weird; I knew what I wanted to say, all the words were in my head, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say them. Looking away, I said, “For a while now, I’ve found myself thinking about Miss Hibiya. A lot.”
[Vile 01] Hiromu: “First of all, Hideki, let me assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring a woman who is older than you.”
[NBK] Hiromu: “Unless if that woman is Courtney Love. In which case, you’re beyond help.”
Hiromu was now smiling. He said in a jovial manner, “Oh, I get it! You’re in love with her!” When I heard that, I completely froze up. I couldn’t say anything. He now looked concerned and asked, “You are in love with her, right?” I forced myself to say, “Yes!”
[NBK] Hideki: “It’s true! It’s all true! I even have a shrine of her in my closet! I also collect her hair follicles!” Hiromu: “. . . . . . I’m gonna go home now.”
***
“You’re not going to believe it, Hideki! I got her working again!” Miss Hibiya told me exuberantly. Two things:
[Blue Yoshi] Hideki: “One, I hope Chii doesn’t get lost when playing MMORPG’s this time.”
[Vile 01] Hideki: “And two . . . can’t think Chitose looking right at me must bang her”
[NBK] It’s almost like Hideki is his old pervy self again.
One, I was overjoyed to learn that Chii would be working again. And two, well, seeing Miss Hibiya in such high spirits, uh, seeing her so happy, made me happy! Then she told me, “only thing is, her memory was wiped. You’ll have to start from square one. Hopefully, this time, she shouldn’t lose her memory again. I’ve reconfigured her parameters to make sure that doesn’t happen in the future.” “Uh, Miss Hibiya,” I began, “Um, I don’t want to raise Chii alone this time.” “Oh? What do you mean?” She asked. I answered, “Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but, I would like it if you, could, um, raise her with me.” Miss Hibiya looked astonished. She asked, “Really? Why?” I nervously stammered, “Because I am hopelessly in love with you Miss Hibiya, no, Chitose! There isn’t anything about you I don’t like! Your eyes! Your hair! Your legs! Your clothes! Your voice! Your niceness! Your intelligence! I love everything about you!” “Hideki!” “I don’t think I could ever replace your ex-husband, but I would like to try anyways! So um, Miss Hibiya, I meant Chitose, may I be your boyfriend!?” There was an awkward silence. Then Miss Hibiya slowly walked up to me. She hugged me and whispered into my ear, “Yes, you may.” She then kissed me lightly on the cheek. She released me with a smile on her face. I was so overcome with raw emotion that I fainted. Chitose shrieked and asked, “Are you okay!?” I told her, “Never been better!”
[Vile 01] Hideki: “It’s just that the reason I can’t get up is because this raging stiffie of mine is just weighing me down too much!
[NBK] *hits Vile 01* Stop that!
She helped me back up and said, “I never thought I’d ever meet anyone kind enough to win my heart again, but here you are doing just that!”
[Blue Yoshi] Oh my god! Did the author just print something, genuinely heartwarming!? *goes into shock*
[Vile 01] Hey, is this why there are no snide comments by us throughout almost that entire last paragraph!? Have I grown soft too!? OH NOES!
[NBK] Just wait for it. Something’s bound to come up that we can make fun of.
***
. . . I was now ready for a new day of school. Chitose and Chii were waiting by the door. Chitose gave me a quick kiss and told me, “I’ll see you later, Hideki!” Chii said, “Take care of yourself.” I smiled and answered, “I will!” And here I am now, walking to school, the happiest man in all of Tokyo! The End.
[NBK] So, what are your reviews?
[Blue Yoshi] It didn’t suck as much as I thought it would. It kinda even makes sense for Hideki to be with Chitose, in a way. But it wasn’t really that entertaining either. I say, So Okay, It’s Average.
[Vile 01] The author, oddly enough, actually has an understanding of the English language. I can’t find any typos, the grammar is all good, the overall syntax is almost professional quality. The story itself . . . meh. It could’ve been a lot worse, yeah, but Hideki hooking up with anyone other than Chii kind of defeats the whole purpose of the franchise. It’s almost sacrilegious.
[NBK] Would you rather he have written a lemon fic? Or a lime fic?
[Vile 01] No, no! It’s not M-rated, and despite some of my comments, that sort of thing is not what I want to see when I want to read a fanfic anyways. It was a romance fic with most of the sexual trappings removed, thankfully.
[NBK] Well I for one thought the fic was good. Not fantastic, but good. The author doesn’t seem to portray anyone out of character, except for maybe Chitose, and it made me happy, and isn’t that what matters, dear MSTers? The happiness? I think so.
[Blue Yoshi] Pfft. Suck-up.
[NBK] You know what? Screw you guys! You rather we be reviewing Twilight fics? Huh!? Or Harry Potter fics? Huh!? Or Evangelion fanfics that aren’t Shinji and Warhammer 40k, Once More With Feeling, or Rebuild of the End of Shin Seiki Evangelion: Angelic Girlfriend of Steel Days @ Ikari Raising Academy? Huh!?
[Blue Yoshi] You know what this puts me in the mood for? Retro 90's Sailor Moon fics. Gotta love the creepy obsession otakus had with those girls back in the day.
[NBK] ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?!?!
[Vile 01] Sorry, can’t hear you. I’m looking for more fics to burn. Why don’t you do the same?
[NBK] *sighs* Fine. I’ll head over to the Final Fantasy section then.
[Blue Yoshi] A fanfic based off of the anime adaptation of Chobits.
[NBK] Ah yes, Chobits. A CLAMP series if ever I read or saw one. Hey Vile 01, what’s the skinny on Chobits?
[Vile 01] Not much. All I’m getting from the anime fansites is that, “It’s a CLAMP series. Either you love it, or you hate it. Personally, we hate it, because it’s CLAMP.” Um, that doesn’t really answer my question, guys.
[Blue Yoshi] Hold up, the Wikipedia article is more informative. It’s a series about a boy who moves into Tokyo and adopts a custom-made android named Chii. Hideki, that’s the boy, goes about his business, but begins to question, is he in love with Chii? The series askes the question, “Is it possible for romance to develop between a normal human and an artificial human?” This series says, yes. However, Hideki is torn between Chii and a number of human women as well. It’s a romantic comedy with elements of drama.
[Vile 01] What about the author?
[NBK] The author’s handle is xm0123. According to his blog, he likes video games, manga, and works of animation. He is a self-described, “21st century scholar.” and he’s seen the Chobits anime, but not the manga.
[Vile 01] Forget that! What’s the header of this fanfic!?
[Blue Yoshi] “Loss is Not Forever.” Rating: T. Genre: comedy, drama, romance. Pairing(s): Hideki/Chitose. Hey, who’s Chitose?
[NBK] One of Hideki’s potential love interests. She’s a widowed woman who’s a little older than Hideki, and is the landlady of his apartment complex. Hideki is either 18 or 19, while Chitose is . . . she doesn’t look that much older than him, probably no younger than 27, but no older than 33. We’re looking at an April-to-June romance, or an April-to-July romance. By the way, Chitose’s dead husband was a character in Angelic Layer, another CLAMP franchise.
[Vile 01] Oh, you’ll wanna hear this, guys. You know why xm0123 is writing Hideki/Chitose het? Not only does the author claim Hideki should’ve hooked up with her instead, but also, he, as in xm0123, claims to have a “platonic crush” on Chitose.
[NBK] Uh oh! PSL Alert, guys!
[Vile 01] I dunno if it’s PSL. He said it’s platonic, as in, he’s not in love with her, and he doesn’t wanna . . . do . . . something . . . with her either. But he does claim that she’s “amazing” and that he wouldn’t mind giving her a hug.
[NBK] Wanting to hug an anime character is PSL in my book. I got a bad feeling how this is gonna go. Any last details?
[Blue Yoshi] It’s written in first person narrative, from Hideki’s viewpoint. Other than that, I think we’re ready, assuming we don’t mind reading Chobits spoilers, which I don’t.
[NBK] Me neither.
[Vile 01] Neither do I.
[NBK] Then let’s load this fucker up!
. . . Suddenly, she held my hands. She looked straight into my eyes and said, “Chii loves Hideki. Does Hideki love Chii?” I was stunned by what I heard! Chii just told me she loved me! I had to do a double take; Chii, a persocom, is in love with me!? What do I do!? What do I say to something like that!?
[Blue Yoshi] You tell yourself that it’s just a show, like we do.
. . . After trying to think it through as best as I could, I told her, “I do love you, Chii, but I love you like how an older brother would love a younger sister, or perhaps the way a father loves his daughter. You are a very special person, Chii, I enjoy your company very much, however, I can’t say that I’m in love with you.” Almost as if on cue, she let go of my hands, and started staring off into space. She asked in a more flat tone, “You . . . don’t . . . love . . . me?” Her voice started making garbled noises, and her head started jerking about violently, like she was being short-circuited.
[NBK] Oh no! It looks like a case of Die For Our Ship! The Hideki/Chii Ship is going down faster than the Titanic!
[Blue Yoshi] Somebody call Celine Dion, tell her she’s got another gig tonight.
[Vile 01] *dialing numbers on his cell phone* Already on it!
***
. . . She looked at me with a grim look on her face. “I’m afraid her hard drive’s completely crashed. Even if I manage to reboot her, she won’t remember anything.
[Vile 01] Hideki: “So that means if I reactivated her now, I could re-educate her into becoming my own sex slave!?” Chitose: “It’s possible.” Hideki: “Best case of amnesia ever!!!!”
***
. . . Minoru looked at his PC with a puzzled look on his face. “So basically, you’re saying Chii went kaput because you rejected her?” I told him, “But I didn’t say anything to harm her! I just said I wasn’t in love with her!”
[NBK] Hideki: “Of course, there was that time I fondled her boobs, but that was an accident! And what girl kills herself because of a mishap like that!?”
[Blue Yoshi] Hey, you know what this reminds me of? That episode of the original Star Trek where an inventor presents a computer to the Enterprise, then the computer takes over the Enterprise, and then starts killing people, because it (the computer) perceives everyone to be a threat. Captain Kirk, through the power of dramatic pauses, convinces the computer that it has killed in cold blood, and that the penalty for murder is death. Upon this realization, the computer shuts itself off, effectively committing suicide. I guess things driven by AIs have a tendency to do this.
[NBK] Or maybe Chii’s just doing what her twin sister would do in her situation; things getting too emo? Hit the kill switch! It must run in the family.
[Vile 01] Nah. Chii and Freya are just so human-like, they, like human teenage girls, have the tendency to slit their wrists when things don’t go their way, only, replace “slit their wrists” with “reformat hard drive.”
[NBK] Dude, I think that’s insensitive towards those who really have tried to kill themselves by cutting their wrists.
***
. . . That night, I had a dream. I had come home from an arduous day of work, but my home was not the apartment, but rather, a really nice condo. I go inside, drop off my stuff, when suddenly, someone grabs me from behind. I turn around and see Chii, except she is lifeless.
[Blue Yoshi] Dude, you ever thought about hitting her on button first?
[NBK] Yeah, but do you remember where her on/off switch is? Let’s just say I’m glad guys like Beavis and Butthead didn’t get to Chii first.
[Vile 01] Beavis: “Heh heh, heh heh! So like, there’s this robot chick, heh heh, and to turn her on, you have to like, touch her between the legs, if you know what I mean, heh heh!” Butthead: “Uh huh huh huh huh, uh huh huh, you said ‘turn on!’ Uh huh huh huh!”
[Blue Yoshi] Then again, it is a dream sequence; it’s not supposed to make any sense.
It took me a long time before I could fall asleep again. By the time I finally did, I had another dream. It started off just like the one before; I go inside of a condo, I drop my things off, and someone grabs me, no, hugs me from behind. I turn around, thinking it’s Chii again, but to my surprise, it wasn’t Chii at all; it was Miss Hibiya! She said, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” The sound of her voice was so . . . pleasant, and soothing. Dumbfounded by all of this, all I could say to her was, “Where’s Chii?”
[NBK] Making extra rounds at the Persocom Strip Club.
[Vile 01] Making yet another cameo appearance in Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle.
[Blue Yoshi] Trying to find that damned fourth Emerald. These things don’t find themselves, ya know!
***
. . . As I set off for school, I saw Miss Hibiya sweeping the walks again, as usual. However, because of what happened last night, I suddenly found myself becoming really nervous. Looking at her, I realized, she really does have a pretty face, she really does have pretty eyes, and she really does have pretty long black hair!
[Vile 01] Hideki: “It was at that precise moment that I reached a private climax inside of my pants.”
[NBK] *hits Vile 01* For Christ’s sake, have some dignity!
[Vile 01] What!? It was funnier in my head!
***
. . . “I’m sorry about what happened to Chii.” Hiromu told me. “It’s not easy to lose a Persocom you’ve spent a lot of time with.” I said, “I know. Miss Hibiya is doing everyting she can to restore her, but that’s not why I invited you over to the diner. There’s something else I wanted to discuss with you.”
[Blue Yoshi] Hideki: “I deserve Miss Shimizu, not you!”
[NBK] Hideki: “Sumomo is just adorable! Where can I find a model just like her!?”
Hiromu replied, “Sure. You can tell me anything.” I suddenly found myself getting nervous again. I was blushing, and I stammered, “It’s about Miss Hibiya.” I paused for a second, then Hiromu said, “What about Miss Hibiya?” It was weird; I knew what I wanted to say, all the words were in my head, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say them. Looking away, I said, “For a while now, I’ve found myself thinking about Miss Hibiya. A lot.”
[Vile 01] Hiromu: “First of all, Hideki, let me assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring a woman who is older than you.”
[NBK] Hiromu: “Unless if that woman is Courtney Love. In which case, you’re beyond help.”
Hiromu was now smiling. He said in a jovial manner, “Oh, I get it! You’re in love with her!” When I heard that, I completely froze up. I couldn’t say anything. He now looked concerned and asked, “You are in love with her, right?” I forced myself to say, “Yes!”
[NBK] Hideki: “It’s true! It’s all true! I even have a shrine of her in my closet! I also collect her hair follicles!” Hiromu: “. . . . . . I’m gonna go home now.”
***
“You’re not going to believe it, Hideki! I got her working again!” Miss Hibiya told me exuberantly. Two things:
[Blue Yoshi] Hideki: “One, I hope Chii doesn’t get lost when playing MMORPG’s this time.”
[Vile 01] Hideki: “And two . . . can’t think Chitose looking right at me must bang her”
[NBK] It’s almost like Hideki is his old pervy self again.
One, I was overjoyed to learn that Chii would be working again. And two, well, seeing Miss Hibiya in such high spirits, uh, seeing her so happy, made me happy! Then she told me, “only thing is, her memory was wiped. You’ll have to start from square one. Hopefully, this time, she shouldn’t lose her memory again. I’ve reconfigured her parameters to make sure that doesn’t happen in the future.” “Uh, Miss Hibiya,” I began, “Um, I don’t want to raise Chii alone this time.” “Oh? What do you mean?” She asked. I answered, “Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but, I would like it if you, could, um, raise her with me.” Miss Hibiya looked astonished. She asked, “Really? Why?” I nervously stammered, “Because I am hopelessly in love with you Miss Hibiya, no, Chitose! There isn’t anything about you I don’t like! Your eyes! Your hair! Your legs! Your clothes! Your voice! Your niceness! Your intelligence! I love everything about you!” “Hideki!” “I don’t think I could ever replace your ex-husband, but I would like to try anyways! So um, Miss Hibiya, I meant Chitose, may I be your boyfriend!?” There was an awkward silence. Then Miss Hibiya slowly walked up to me. She hugged me and whispered into my ear, “Yes, you may.” She then kissed me lightly on the cheek. She released me with a smile on her face. I was so overcome with raw emotion that I fainted. Chitose shrieked and asked, “Are you okay!?” I told her, “Never been better!”
[Vile 01] Hideki: “It’s just that the reason I can’t get up is because this raging stiffie of mine is just weighing me down too much!
[NBK] *hits Vile 01* Stop that!
She helped me back up and said, “I never thought I’d ever meet anyone kind enough to win my heart again, but here you are doing just that!”
[Blue Yoshi] Oh my god! Did the author just print something, genuinely heartwarming!? *goes into shock*
[Vile 01] Hey, is this why there are no snide comments by us throughout almost that entire last paragraph!? Have I grown soft too!? OH NOES!
[NBK] Just wait for it. Something’s bound to come up that we can make fun of.
***
. . . I was now ready for a new day of school. Chitose and Chii were waiting by the door. Chitose gave me a quick kiss and told me, “I’ll see you later, Hideki!” Chii said, “Take care of yourself.” I smiled and answered, “I will!” And here I am now, walking to school, the happiest man in all of Tokyo! The End.
[NBK] So, what are your reviews?
[Blue Yoshi] It didn’t suck as much as I thought it would. It kinda even makes sense for Hideki to be with Chitose, in a way. But it wasn’t really that entertaining either. I say, So Okay, It’s Average.
[Vile 01] The author, oddly enough, actually has an understanding of the English language. I can’t find any typos, the grammar is all good, the overall syntax is almost professional quality. The story itself . . . meh. It could’ve been a lot worse, yeah, but Hideki hooking up with anyone other than Chii kind of defeats the whole purpose of the franchise. It’s almost sacrilegious.
[NBK] Would you rather he have written a lemon fic? Or a lime fic?
[Vile 01] No, no! It’s not M-rated, and despite some of my comments, that sort of thing is not what I want to see when I want to read a fanfic anyways. It was a romance fic with most of the sexual trappings removed, thankfully.
[NBK] Well I for one thought the fic was good. Not fantastic, but good. The author doesn’t seem to portray anyone out of character, except for maybe Chitose, and it made me happy, and isn’t that what matters, dear MSTers? The happiness? I think so.
[Blue Yoshi] Pfft. Suck-up.
[NBK] You know what? Screw you guys! You rather we be reviewing Twilight fics? Huh!? Or Harry Potter fics? Huh!? Or Evangelion fanfics that aren’t Shinji and Warhammer 40k, Once More With Feeling, or Rebuild of the End of Shin Seiki Evangelion: Angelic Girlfriend of Steel Days @ Ikari Raising Academy? Huh!?
[Blue Yoshi] You know what this puts me in the mood for? Retro 90's Sailor Moon fics. Gotta love the creepy obsession otakus had with those girls back in the day.
[NBK] ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?!?!
[Vile 01] Sorry, can’t hear you. I’m looking for more fics to burn. Why don’t you do the same?
[NBK] *sighs* Fine. I’ll head over to the Final Fantasy section then.
The Preview
"Hi. I'm NBK."
"I'm Vile 01."
"And I'm Blue Yoshi."
"We are associates of xm0123. Anytime in the past when xm was writing what he thought his audience was saying, you know, for example . . ."
Hellsing sucks.
"OMGWTFBBQ! You hate the tv, OVA, and manga versions!? U suk!"
"That was us the whole time! Of course, we don't like it when we Leet Speak, but whatever."
"We are here today because we are also MSTers. That's right; we read crappy fanfics and make them enjoyable. It's truly a noble cause."
"xm has given us the go-ahead to 'critique' a fanfic he just finished. You know how bad his 'fic is? There are places in the fic, or so he's told us, where he just skips ahead to another scene! He'll describe a brief scene, and just skip ahead to another! And he claims it's complete! Oh, this gonna be goooooooooooood!"
"He better not be screwing with us with another half-way decent fic, otherwise, I just might mutiny against him."
"So, next post, expect us to take over! But, the post after that, xm will be here again."
"Hope y'all like fanfics, 'cause one's about to be uploaded!"
"I'm Vile 01."
"And I'm Blue Yoshi."
"We are associates of xm0123. Anytime in the past when xm was writing what he thought his audience was saying, you know, for example . . ."
Hellsing sucks.
"OMGWTFBBQ! You hate the tv, OVA, and manga versions!? U suk!"
"That was us the whole time! Of course, we don't like it when we Leet Speak, but whatever."
"We are here today because we are also MSTers. That's right; we read crappy fanfics and make them enjoyable. It's truly a noble cause."
"xm has given us the go-ahead to 'critique' a fanfic he just finished. You know how bad his 'fic is? There are places in the fic, or so he's told us, where he just skips ahead to another scene! He'll describe a brief scene, and just skip ahead to another! And he claims it's complete! Oh, this gonna be goooooooooooood!"
"He better not be screwing with us with another half-way decent fic, otherwise, I just might mutiny against him."
"So, next post, expect us to take over! But, the post after that, xm will be here again."
"Hope y'all like fanfics, 'cause one's about to be uploaded!"
A couple of reviews
Persona 4 is not as long as Persona 3. And P4 is a lot easier than P3. And, I'm playing P4 on easy mode, because I am a wuss. Basically, I've already beaten the game, as in seen the "Best" ending, which was a really good ending. I also saw the "Good" ending, which I thought was satisfying too. But since I've beaten P4, I suppose a review is in order.
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED IN MY-
-Not that kind of review! GAWD!
Okay, let's make it short and sweet; P4 fixes most of P3's problems. As such, it is awesome incarnate. There are a few changes I thought made things less nuanced, (like that there's not different kinds of physical attacks in P4 unlike in P3) but now I am tempted into making a hacked version of P3 where you can control all of your characters, can equip their stuff without talking to them, and make the final boss fight NOT TAKE 90 FUCKING MINUTES LONG, ONLY TO HAVE IT CHARM ONE OF YOUR CHARACTERS INTO HEALING ITSELF ALL THE WAY BACK TO FULL HEALTH! (seriously, the final boss of P3 did that. Recovered like 6500 hp I did to it. At that moment, I said to myself, "That's it. I'm dead." and let myself die.) So yeah.
Persona 4 gets 10 out of 10.
Now I am burned out on stat-based RPGs for the moment. I need a shoot-em-up to play now. If only people stopped renting Resident Evil 5 where I live . . .
I have also seen the last four episodes of Lucky Star in English recently. This is probably the "worst" anime series I've ever seen to completion. And the last 4 episodes were really lackluster.
What even prompted me to watch all of LS? It was only sporadically funny. A lot of the material wouldn't make sense to someone outside of Japan. The only girl I thought was really cute was Yutaka. (if only because she looks like a pink-haired Sakura Kinomoto) The artwork wasn't fantastic, and neither was the soundtrack. What kept pulling me in?
Two things; one, although it was only sporadically funny, when LS decided to be funny, I laughed. Hard. And secondly, the English dub for LS is one of the best I've ever heard. Okay, I know, I'm starting to sound cliched now, "Any English dub by Bandai that isn't Code Geass is faaaaaantastic!" but it's true; that company rarely disappoints me. Take it from me, if you wanna watch LS without having to read subtitles, fear not, for you are in good hands. And also, you know, fuck dub haters.
"But xm! You sound so bored!"
Well, I have seen snippets of LS in Japanese, and it sounded good in that language too. But okay, since you asked,
FUCK ALL YOU OTAKUS WHO HATE ALL NON-JAPANESE DUBS! UNLESS IF YOU HAVE A DAMNED GOOD REASON FOR NOT WATCHING DUBS, THEN YOU ALL SUCK! THAT'S RIGHT; YOU SUCK!
There, happy now? I have more things to post, hold on.
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED IN MY-
-Not that kind of review! GAWD!
Okay, let's make it short and sweet; P4 fixes most of P3's problems. As such, it is awesome incarnate. There are a few changes I thought made things less nuanced, (like that there's not different kinds of physical attacks in P4 unlike in P3) but now I am tempted into making a hacked version of P3 where you can control all of your characters, can equip their stuff without talking to them, and make the final boss fight NOT TAKE 90 FUCKING MINUTES LONG, ONLY TO HAVE IT CHARM ONE OF YOUR CHARACTERS INTO HEALING ITSELF ALL THE WAY BACK TO FULL HEALTH! (seriously, the final boss of P3 did that. Recovered like 6500 hp I did to it. At that moment, I said to myself, "That's it. I'm dead." and let myself die.) So yeah.
Persona 4 gets 10 out of 10.
Now I am burned out on stat-based RPGs for the moment. I need a shoot-em-up to play now. If only people stopped renting Resident Evil 5 where I live . . .
I have also seen the last four episodes of Lucky Star in English recently. This is probably the "worst" anime series I've ever seen to completion. And the last 4 episodes were really lackluster.
What even prompted me to watch all of LS? It was only sporadically funny. A lot of the material wouldn't make sense to someone outside of Japan. The only girl I thought was really cute was Yutaka. (if only because she looks like a pink-haired Sakura Kinomoto) The artwork wasn't fantastic, and neither was the soundtrack. What kept pulling me in?
Two things; one, although it was only sporadically funny, when LS decided to be funny, I laughed. Hard. And secondly, the English dub for LS is one of the best I've ever heard. Okay, I know, I'm starting to sound cliched now, "Any English dub by Bandai that isn't Code Geass is faaaaaantastic!" but it's true; that company rarely disappoints me. Take it from me, if you wanna watch LS without having to read subtitles, fear not, for you are in good hands. And also, you know, fuck dub haters.
"But xm! You sound so bored!"
Well, I have seen snippets of LS in Japanese, and it sounded good in that language too. But okay, since you asked,
FUCK ALL YOU OTAKUS WHO HATE ALL NON-JAPANESE DUBS! UNLESS IF YOU HAVE A DAMNED GOOD REASON FOR NOT WATCHING DUBS, THEN YOU ALL SUCK! THAT'S RIGHT; YOU SUCK!
There, happy now? I have more things to post, hold on.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Blog Writer Presence Failure
You may've noticed that yesterday was April 1st. You may've also noticed that there is no entry on April 1st of last year either. There is a reason for this.
I do not use the internet on April Fool's Day. Unless if I absolutely have to.
This is something I learned the hard way; never use the internet on the first of April! I figured this out shortly after I became an internet junkie.
Oh yes, very clever of webmasters to take down all of their regular content, and replace it all with something they think is funny! Hurray! And not only that, some webmasters are chronically lazy, and forget to change back to their regular content days, sometimes weeks after April Fool's. This has been going on for a long time now, but I'm not falling for your hijinx anymore.
Because of my "no internet on April 1st" rule, that means not only do I not post on April Fool's, I also don't have to go through the trouble of coming up with a lameass joke that would obviously be a lie to any regulars viewers of this blog. So that means you don't have to suffer from these failed jokes of mine:
"OH NO! NOT (insert "Misa Amane", "Norma Beatty", or "Tohru Honda")!"
"Dude, I just downed some Heineken's. (or however you spell that. Whatever. It's a German beer manufacturer.) I'M SO WASTED!"
"Man, I am such a whore for the original Playstation. I make love to my PS1 every niiiiiight!"
"Peoples, that review of Slayers I wrote over a year ago? That was actually another satirical sketch of mine. In truth, Slayers is teh shiznits!"
Yeah. Aren't you glad I avoid this tradition?
I do not use the internet on April Fool's Day. Unless if I absolutely have to.
This is something I learned the hard way; never use the internet on the first of April! I figured this out shortly after I became an internet junkie.
Oh yes, very clever of webmasters to take down all of their regular content, and replace it all with something they think is funny! Hurray! And not only that, some webmasters are chronically lazy, and forget to change back to their regular content days, sometimes weeks after April Fool's. This has been going on for a long time now, but I'm not falling for your hijinx anymore.
Because of my "no internet on April 1st" rule, that means not only do I not post on April Fool's, I also don't have to go through the trouble of coming up with a lameass joke that would obviously be a lie to any regulars viewers of this blog. So that means you don't have to suffer from these failed jokes of mine:
"OH NO! NOT (insert "Misa Amane", "Norma Beatty", or "Tohru Honda")!"
"Dude, I just downed some Heineken's. (or however you spell that. Whatever. It's a German beer manufacturer.) I'M SO WASTED!"
"Man, I am such a whore for the original Playstation. I make love to my PS1 every niiiiiight!"
"Peoples, that review of Slayers I wrote over a year ago? That was actually another satirical sketch of mine. In truth, Slayers is teh shiznits!"
Yeah. Aren't you glad I avoid this tradition?
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