You know how I started the Hall of Shame segment on Help Us, Professor Kokonoe, to get back at the haters? Well guess what? I got someone else to add to the Hall of Shame, but this time, I'm doing it as myself, as xm0123, not as Koko. No getting into character for this one; this is allllllllll me!
There was an author by the name of "eagerbeaver" on FF.net. Beaver's alias ended with numbers, so it was actually like "eagerbeaver678" or something. This beaver's profile was written mostly in chatspeak. Beaver had one fanfiction to his/her/its name: "Justin' Gensokyo." It was, I believe, 4 chapters in length, and garnered about 20 reviews before it was taken down. (Wait, that's as many reviews as Mentor and Protege currently holds! You know, negative publicity may not be that good after all . . . for Beaver, not me.)
Justin' Gensokyo was a cliched "OC falls into Gensokyo!" plot. However, the OC wasn't the author, or just any random person. You wanna know who was the main star? You really, really, really wanna know? Are ya desperate to find out? Here's who the protag was:
Justin Bieber.
Side note: I do not like Justin Bieber as a musician. Todd in the Shadows has shown me enough JB for a while. However, I do not hate JB, for he is, as far as I know, not a horrible person. If we met, we would probably get along. And if he is serious as a musical artist, he will improve over time. Okay, enough of that.
Yes, eager beaver wrote a fanfic about Bieber. However, there's a rule on FF.net; you can't use real people who are still alive in your fics. First of all, there is the possibility of a libel suit. Second of all, THAT'S FUCKING RETARDED!!!!!!! Thirdly . . . I already made my point.
Naturally, this drew attention from reviewers. Some people seemed to like Justin in Gensokyo . . . . but there are people on FF.net who like anything, no matter how shitty, depraved, or bizarre it is. Some of the reviewers offered criticism. Some of them just said, "Troll fic. We read My immortal, dumbass; don't bring that shit into Touhou." One person even said, "I love how only three of the eight (at the time) reviews realize it's a troll."
The best review was by none other than Willie G.R. I kid you not. His offered critiques without sounding mean-spirited. He said drop the chatspeak, using real people is a violation of FF.net rules, tons of people hate JB, your chapters have little to no content, there's no way Sanae would recognize Bieber, even as the media junkie she was outside of Gensokyo. (True man. The Moriya, in my fanfic, moved to Gensokyo in January 2005, before JB was a superstar. HA!) Also, he pointed out that there was a scene when JB first landed in Gensokyo, that he fainted . . . yet had a smile on his face. Willie said that is like multiplying 0 times 0, and trying to get 10. I laughed. Also, in the fanfic, Reimu said JB was "cute." I find it highly ironic that Reimu, she herself one of the most adorable video game characters of all time, would find the mere (by comparison) JB cute. Shouldn't her standards for cuteness be much higher? Or am I breaking logic again?
However, it's gone; the reviews, the profile, the fic, everything. This blog entry may be the only shrine to its existence, its Hall of Shame if you will. I myself tried to read Justin' Gensokyo. I couldn't make it past the author's note of the first chapter. Shitty writing to me is like . . . like an anti-magic field to a witch. If it's too strong, I shun it.
Now, my thoughts? Well, I'm in an Umineko mood right now, so allow me to use the Blue Truth.
Eagerbeaver was a male troll pretending to be a stereotypical fifteen year old fangirl. Touhou is a predominantly male fanbase, while Justin Bieber commands a predominantly female fanbase. Eagerbeaver made a fanfiction for an obscure game series outside of Japan, wrote like a fangirl, and sought to ridicule Bieber and his fans to Touhou fans. He did not realize that he broke a fundamental rule of Fanfiction dot net, and was IP banned for life.
And even if you hate Bieber, or even if you think he's brilliant, there is one eternal truth.
Eagerbeaver is an idiot.
Why all the sudden Umineko references? The title, the text color, and all that? Because I'm still waiting for the translation to finish. What can I do to pass the time . . .
