Alright, you whores. Tell me right here and now; why FF7? Why is that the one you constantly orgy over? Especially considering that many of you so-called FF fans have played every major FF game that came out after FF7? To me, FF9, FF10, and FF12 are vastly improved-upon formulas of roleplaying when compared to FF7. Hell, FF8 has an even better storyline than FF7, but no, you have to constantly shout, "Dood! Whut thuh phuk!? Squall is fucking emo!!!!!!111!!" Granted, I don't like Squall either, but Cloud isn't a whole lot different from Squall, and yet you worship Spikey Head like he's your personal savior!
There's something else, too. As you know, I have come to really hate people who whore themselves to Japanese pop culture. The internet knows them as otakus. I know otakus in the real world who were turned to the otaku side not because of a shitty retro '90's anime, but rather, because of a videogame. A game you know as FF7. Even despite the game's strengths, it will always have this stigma attached to it; that it was partially responsible for the first otakulypse, the one of the late '90's.
Once, I encountered a troll of the internet. This troll claimed that FF10 was a bad game, that it sucked compared to FF7. How can that be, though? In my mind, FF7 is like an early beta build of FF10, for 10 has superior graphics, music, gameplay, and writing to 7. And yet, this troll said FF10 sucked compared to 7. Why? His sole reason was because FF10 was, "really fucking gay." How's that for you? Somebody who ignores whatever greatness is in FF10 by use of homophobic bullshit. This is the fanbase that surrounds the most popular stat-based RPG in the world, peoples. These are also the same people who bought Kingdom Hearts I and II when they first came out simply because of their inclusion of FF7 characters. Oh sure, there are intelligent FF7 lovers out there, but they are few and far between.
But if you hate FF7, don't think you're getting away unscathed. Oh, you would be sadly mistaken if you thought it was "cool" to hate FF7. Sadly, mistaken.
In recent years, it has become cool to diss FF7 among hardcore gamers, especially since FF7 is popular with people who don't normally play videogames. "What could they know about games? They're just suckers for the hype." Elitism has reared its ugly head regarding FF7, and I have noticed a common trait among FF7 bashers; most of them list FF6 as their favorite RPG.
Now, to be honest, FF6 is superior to FF7. Superior in music, story, magic system, even graphics. However, I have a little revelation to make. My favorite parts in FF6 are the opera, the final boss fight, and the ending. Take away those three things. Now for this; I enjoyed the first disc of FF7 more than the entirety of FF6, minus the opera and the last scenes, of course. Yeah, FF7 actually starts off more fun than FF6 did. I mean, FF7 isn't as buggy as the original SNES version of FF6, that's for sure. And yet, you overlook this and act like you're superior because you prefer a game that isn't popular with "normal people." FF6 isn't perfect, either. Hell, I can't even interpret half the dialog in FF6.
But now something else; FF6 AND 7 aren't as good as FF4, 9, 10, and 12. And that's just Final Fantasy games. Look at all the stat-based RPGs I enjoyed more than FF6 and 7 that aren't Final Fantasy: Diablo II, the first Knights of the Old Republic, Chrono Trigger, Tales of Phantasia, Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Vesperia, Xenosaga episode III, Disgaea 2, Seiken Densetsu 3, Dragon Quest VIII, Mother 3, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete, Persona 4, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. And these are just games I've played. Who knows how many others are better.
So everyone, do yourselves a favor, stop obsessing over Cloud's personal problems. Stop obsessing over Tifa's body. Stop obsessing over Aeris' role in the well-being of the Planet. Stop obsessing over Sephiroth's relationship with Jenova. ("LOL! Oedipus complex! LOL!!" okay, that was pretty funny, actually.) And especially stop claiming that FF7 has the best story in a videogame ever when you haven't even played that many videogames. The world will be a little more sane if you can accomplish that.
But also, stop hating FF7 when there are worse RPGs out there. The Phantasy Star series is way more flawed than FF7 ever was. And every Dragon Quest game that isn't DQ5 or DQ8 has a worse storyline than FF7. Go hate on them more, and spare me your delinquency!!!
That's it. Now I must resort to obsessing over the one thing in FF7 that is worth obsessing over; the music. The Advent Children remix of Tifa's theme always soothes my nerves after any blood-boiling situation. But I wouldn't have to listen to that song if you fuckers hadn't turned loving or hating FF7 into an internet past time.
GO AWAY!!!!!!!
EDIT: This article was updated on March 26th, 2009. I listed more RPGs that are better than FF6 and FF7. Shut up, already.
