So, not a fan of my short-lived Evangelion fanfic? Oh, have I got the antidote for you. I know of an Eva fanfic that, by its mere existence, improves the quality of nearly every other fanfiction in existence. (Don't worry, there's a MSTing)
Recommended by Tropers for those wanting something So Bad, It's Good, it's Evangelion 2: the D.E.L.T.A. Invasion! (LATE EDIT: link's dead. Good riddance.)
I couldn't bring myself to read the whole thing. I did read the last chapter, but I skipped about 5 or 6 chapters to get there. This 'fic is an example of one of the worst Mary Sues I've ever seen in my life. Or for you tropers, a definitive, and horribly bad example, of a God Mode Marty Stu.
Let's see . . . Eva 2 is an unofficial sequel to the Eva anime series. Episode 16 through 26 never happened, and neither did the End of Eva. Rei is a full-blooded human, Asuka no longer has issues, Shinji is . . . boringly normal, Misato, my main woman, is . . . just there. Gendo is now a good guy, and about the only character who wasn't (too) derailed is Ritsuko. Oh bugger. OOC for the worse. Strike One.
Two years have passed since Ep 15, when the apparent last Angel appeared, and everyone is at peace . . . until now. Beings from another planet that call themselves the "Invadors" are wreaking havoc. Only Japanese kids in Evas can stop them . . .
OR CAN THEY!?
Enter Tom Dyron, the obvious author avatar. He is an American come to live in Tokyo-3, for he has been chosen to pilot Eva-03, you know, the one Touji should be piloting. Tom can speak perfect Japanese, has a convoluted (and contradictory) tragic past, is very tall for his age, very muscular and strong, is a skilled amateur wrestler, is the lead singer of his own rock band, (and he's already got a record deal!) and he syncs with his Eva, at the start, better than Shinji ever synched with Eva-01 at the end of the canon series. Oh, but remember, Tom's a man's man: he's also a raging alcoholic, has a frequency to swear for no reason, quotes Stone Cold Steve Austin a lot, and in the last chapter, treats his ex-girlfriend like absolute shit. Oh, by the way, he hooks up with Asuka, and bangs her on a regular basis. She also loves him. This, despite the fact that I was always under the impression that she was torn between Shinji and Ryoji. And also, Shinji and Rei are an item, despite the fact that anybody who knows what Rei is really supposed to be would probably be a little bit disturbed to read that. Strike Two, Three, Four, and Five.
Oh, but that's not all! There's also the fights between the Evas and the so-called "Invadors." The Invadors (didn't this guy have a spellchecker?) all have nonsensical physical traits, and their tactics for fighting the Evas consist of . . . I don't remember, actually. The fight scenes in Eva 2 don't make any sense at all. They're very poorly described. They always end the same way though; Tom kills all of them, or Tom and Shinji (never Rei and Asuka. Misogyny much?) tag-team on the Invadors and kill them together. No one uses the clever tactics seen in the canon anime and manga series, and the Invadors seem to just rush the attackers, instead of having cool gimmicks like the Angels did. Strike Six and Seven. Two strikes because Eva is an action series.
But that's not all, folks! There's another fanmade character named John, who is "special", and also has a contradictory backstory, and . . . contributes nothing to the plot. There's spelling errors out the wazoo. There's the fact that a lot of the dialogue is interchangeable between the characters. Remember in my 'fic when the Angels were commenting on character voice? Well, Eva 2 only has one character voice; that of Tom Dyron's. A very obvious example of an unskilled writer if ever I saw one. Oh, and fake emotions! Tom angsts in a forced, William Shatner-esque style, (but with more swearing) the young couples love each other in an entirely unbelievable manner, and the ending is far too happy, and predictable, to be enjoyable. And lastly, there are a lot of scenes that are just entirely unnecessary. If you read the MST comments, you'll know what I'm talking about. Strike Eight, Nine, and Ten.
Wow, ten strikes. Usually, it's three strikes, and you're out. Well, Eva 2 is out in such a fashion, it is a monumental disaster on a scale I have rarely witnessed. Few works of fiction, be they fanfiction or official works of canon, are as apocalyptically bad as Eva 2. This is something that ranks right up there with the likes of Battlefield Earth, the storyline of Wild Arms 4, and Freddy Got Fingered. It, truly, for lack of a better description, is epic fail.
But fear not, readers, for the original, un-MSTed version is apparently gone. The MST I have linked is absolutely hilarious. These people know how to mock the suckiness of Eva 2, and their comments made it all worthwhile.
Wow, this 'fic really makes me appreciate my own Eva fanfic a lot more. Sure, I may only have done script fics, but they still turned out a lot better than the monstrosity that is Eva 2.
Hey, maybe I'll go back and reread the chapters I skipped, just to read the witty commentary. I think it's worth slogging through the atrocious writing.
