On this messageboard I went to, someone mentioned something funny, "It was like I was reading the entire internet at once!" It was in reference to an over-abundance of internet catchphrases. Most of you would know them as internet memes.
I'll tell you right now; virtually every meme I know is not cool nor funny nor awesome. I don't even know how they catch on. There's something about the internet that I find toxic to the mind. Even I have succumbed to the toxicity on occasion. (For example, I used to play video games . . . online. Biggest mistake of my video game career.)
However, the sensation that you're reading the entire internet . . . well, the English-speaking part of the internet anyways . . . I think I wanna replicate that now. I will make subtle alterations to the memes, but you'll still recognize them. However, I will deliver the memes as dialogue between people.
Here ya go, internet. The following is on YOUR HEAD!:
"So, how'd ya score on the exam?" "Let's see, I got . . . oh my god, my score!" "What? "It's over Nine THOUSAAAAAANDDDDD!" "WHAT! NINE THOUSAND!" "Just kidding! It's over eight THOUSAAAAANNDDDDD!" "Yeah, that's pretty high."
"Who's the author of this blog again?" "Are you thick? Are you slow-witted? Who the heck do you think I am? I'm teh gosh darned xm!" "Ohhhhhhhhh, that guy."
"Hey everyone, what happened when I was gone?" "Somebody set up us the bomb." (I am ending the sketch here. This joke was old back in fucking 2001, when I had just become an internet junkie. Just let it fucking go already! Anyways, moving on . . .)
"I saw Luke Wilson the other day-" "-PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN" "uh, I don't have any-" "-FUK YOU, FUCKEN LIER!"
"Should I play Final Fantasy 12?" "No!" Why not?" "IT'S A TRAP!"
"Oh my god what the fuck bee bee que! Dumbledore is teh ghey!"
"When a man sleeps with 6 women at once, he calls it a slice of Heaven. When Chuck Norris sleeps with 6 women at once, he calls it a 'slow Tuesday.'"
"Zoh My Gawd! Misa Misa Is Teh Hawtness!"
"You can't go to any of the chans!" "Why not!" "Because it's blasphemy! It's madness!"
"Madness?
THIS!!!!!!
IS!!!!!!!!!
XM0123'S DOMAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Okay, I can't go any further. I just don't have the nerve. But, if these things, of all phrases, can be memes, why can't I make my own memes? Okay, I do like "It's a trap!" but I have my own catchphrases!
"Yeah right! Your only catchphrases are, 'FUCK (insert name of something you hate)!' or 'OH NO! NOT (insert name of girl you think is really really really cute)!' Those won't catch on."
Yeah, ya know what? catchphrases are dumb.
IN AMERICA!
