Okay, everyone. It's the rant you've been waiting for. It's time I ranted about something a little more mainstream than an overrated anime/manga series. Actually, I'm not gonna rant about the products in question. No, I'm going to hate on the haters.
I'm going to respond to Star Wars haters.
Remember there was a time when people thought Star Wars was cool? I do. I still think it's cool. And so does everyone in my family. However, it seems like, ever since the last movie came out, it's no longer, chic, to be a Star Wars fanatic. Making fun of George Lucas has become a past-time. The typical comments for the remastered version of the original trilogy usually run along the lines of, "WTF! They ADDed moar standins in Mos eisley WTF! Teh movie suks now! FUCK LUCASFIUILM!!11 I WANT MY VHS COPY BAK!!!!!" And the typical comments of the newer trilogy? Well, I rather not repeat them here. It's like, what was once considered awesome back in the 20th century, is now something to mock endlessly.
Well I say, fuck you; the entire movie series is awesome (barring Attack of the Clones), I don't mind watching the original trilogy with digitally altered effects, and Georgie Boy (as I like to call him) is my lord and Savior! You people who hate Star Wars for illegitimate reasons can go fuck yourselves. I'm tired of your nitpicking and your bullshit.
Note the phrase, illegitimate. If you have a good reason for not liking SW, that's fine by me. Some people think it's shallow. Others say it's heavy on flash and short on substance, and so forth. If you dislike SW for a good reason, I'm not attacking you. Instead, I'm going after the people who used to like SW back in the day, but now like they're hip by bashing everything SW-related. And no, I'm not talking about anybody who moved on to other science fantasy series; I mean the full-on haters. I see them everywhere.
First off, the flak the newer trilogy gets. Okay, I did admit, Episode II does deserve any criticism it gets. It is the one film in the whole franchise that disappointed me. But Episode I was a great film, damn it! Yes, I know Jar-Jar is the worst character ever, yes, I know the plot is a lot more childish than the other films, but the Podrace sequence was a whole lot of fun! And at the end when the Trade Federation Droids are trying to invade Naboo, and Darth Maul is fighting Obi-wan and his master, and Anakin is flying straight into that space station, that sequence was off the hook, and you know it!
And Episode III was as good as the films in the original trilogy! . . . okay, Revenge of the Sith does have the weak acting and dialogue that is characteristic of the other newer films, but other than those two flaws, it's as good as the original trilogy! We learn the truth about Darth Vader, and the Emperor, who is one of my favorite villains of all time, especially now since I've seen Episode III.
But Episode II? Yeah. Bash that all you want. I don't care. The only reason I still keep my copy is because you can't understand everything that happens in Episode III without having seen episode II.
But the one other thing that bothers me is the flak the original trilogy gets ever since the special editions came out. There was an episode of South Park that made fun of touched up movies. Now, personally, I do believe a remake, if not handled properly, can turn out worse than the original. However, a good remake can be just as good, or even better.
I recently watched Episode IV on DVD. It's the special edition with anamorphic widescreen, 5.1 surround, and THX certification. yes, Mos Eisley looked a little different. Yes, the space battles looked cleaner than usual, but I will tell you right now; the special edition on DVD was just as enjoyable as when I saw the 1977 cut on tv as a little kid many years ago. The core film is unchanged. All of the changes were approved by the original creator.
But noooooooooooooooooooo, you have to be all like, "DOOD!!!! GREEDO SHOOTS FIRST!!!! THIS MOVIE NOW SUXXORS!!!!!!! I CAN NEVER WATCH STAR WARS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!" Jesus Christ peoples; the movie is not ruined. It's not like when the movie version of Nausicaa first came out in America under the title, "Warriors of the Wind." It's nothing of a butchery like that. Georgie Boy knows what he's doing. Yes, if anyone other than him made alterations, I too would cry foul. But it's his movies; so long as he's still alive, he can do whatever he wants. Same goes for Spielberg.
Both myself, my mother, and my father, love the original Star Wars trilogy, in all of its forms. We all believe that the remake is not sacriligious. Besides, I'm always too absorded into the story to notice digital alterations, anyways! I only notice those things when I'm looking for them on purpose!
By the way, on the whole, "who shoots first; Han, or Greedo?" debate, I have this to say:
WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK!!!!!!?!?!??!?!
It stills ends the same way, doesn't it!? Han kills Greedo, and walks out of the Cantina unharmed, doesn't he!? What difference does it make!??!!?!?! Why are internet junkies so goddamn nitpicky?
On a less trolling note, I still believe the original theatrical cuts should still be available to the public, for historical purposes. And I do believe the Phantom Menace would've been better if Jar-Jar had a smaller role. But peoples, if you're gonna hate on SW, think of better reasons. Because if you can't, then you only come across as elitist assholes who obviously have nothing better to do than to sound like complete fuckwads.
Gotten this off of my mind, I have. Break from the internet, I must take.
