Will the internet ever shut up about Super Smash Bros. Brawl? Or do I have to endure the constant yammering of The Only Nintendo Series Anyone Gives A Shit About Anymore(tm) for the rest of my life?
Yes, I liked the N64 Smash. It made for a good rental, but please peoples, it's not the best fighting game ever. It's not the best fighting game series ever either. It's just a bunch of Nintendo nerd conversations turned into videogame format. Yes, I do find it amusing to see Kirby using the hammer from Donkey Kong, and for Pikachu to fire a ray gun, but it's nothing to constantly orgy over, day in and day out.
And you know something else? Have you ever noticed that ever since the release of the N64 Smash, that a lot of people try to pretend to be fans of all Nintendo series? Yes, everybody knows about Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon, but it takes a special breed of gamer to also be a fan of Kirby, Star Fox, Mother, Metroid, and so on.
What I mean is this. I, a hardcore gamer, have had conversations like this:
[Me] I played Kirby Superstar the other day.
[Smash freak] Kirby? You mean like from Super Smash Bros.?!
[Me] No, I mean Kirby from Kirby's Adventure.
[Smash freak] Oh. Kirby is in other games?
[Me] Yes. He has his own game series.
[Smash freak] What are they like?
[Me] *explains Kirby games*
[Smash freak] That sounds really gay.
[Me] Well of course. You're an idiot, and an asshole.
[Smash freak] Whatever. See ya later, homo.
[Me] (thinking to myself) I wished people stopped breeding.
So you can imagine how I feel; not upset, but definitely annoyed. However, I can do something about it. I can do the following rant:
Hey yo, you might think the Wii Smash Bros. is gonna be the best fighting game of the year, right? Well guess what; it won't be. The best fighting game this year is coming out on the 25th, for the PS2. A game that will certainly outclass anything you've seen on Smash. A game that, despite being licensed from a manga/anime series, feels more at home as a fighter.
I'm talking about Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3.
So while you wankers will be staging fights between Bowser and Ganondorf and Wolf and King Dedede, I'll be beating the crap out of Neji as Hinata. I'll be smiling, winking, giving a thumbs-up, and indulging in the Spirit of Youth a la Gai and Lee. *ping* And I'll tear Naruto a new one as Sasuke in his Level 2 Cursed form.
This way, you can all scream over the new Smash like how the girls of the Hidden Leaf squeal, "SAW-SKAY-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" while I play a product with less fanfare and more summoned toads, because summoned toads always make things more fun.
LATE EDIT: Yeah, and I'd like to see The Only Nintendo Series Anyone Gives A Shit About Anymore(tm) compare to GG:AC+, and BB:CS2. Booyah!
