Oh, hey yo, internet world. You got the xm-you got the xm! I have something for you; a review. A review for something I've avoided for nearly 7 years until now, give or take. This review is for all of my ex-friends who acted like what I'm about to review was a fuckin' riot. Now you're going to find out (one reason) why they are my EX friends.
I couple a days ago, I read a manga volume called The Slayers.
The manga version of the beloved Slayers, ladies and gentlemen. A "classic", or so I've been told. A delightful send-up of medieval fantasy and video RPGs.
Before I go on, let me just say, bless you, Terry Pratchett.
In case you can't tell by now, I didn't really buy into the hype of The Slayers. Like, at all. Then again, it's really hard for me to buy into the hype of The Slayers, considering that Slayers is the WORST FUCKING MANGA I'VE EVER READ IN MY 22 YEARS OF EXISTENCE ON THIS GODFORSAKEN WORLD!!!!! Holy Jesus Christ Shit! How the Holy Hell was Slayers so goddamned popular back in the late '90's and early 2000's!?
Slayers claims to be a comedy. To be a comedy, one must have two elements: humor, and lightheartedness. Well, the lightheartedness part is there, since Slayers never takes itself seriously, but the humor part, is lacking. Lacking as in non-existent, not there, absent, UNFUNNY!
Slayers is randomness with two recurring characters. That's it. There is nothing else to it. Things just suddenly happen out of nowhere, with little to no explanation, zero-dimensional characterization (though the last one could be excused.), and enough plot to fill half a children's book. Some of the 'jokes' constantly reoccur, the most obnoxious of which people claiming Lina Inverse's breasts are small (this, despite the fact that she does not have small breasts.). This kind of work would be acceptable, if it were the author's very first story he ever wrote by himself. Under normal circumstances, shit like this could never get published. How Slayers even got published is beyond my reasoning.
In spite of my hate, I did find two things to like. One, the artwork isn't bad. It's not superb, but it is decent. Secondly, I know of an online comic very similar to Slayers in terms of it being a parody of medieval fantasies and video RPGs. Even its art style is similar to that of Slayers. Except, you know, unlike Slayers, RPG World is actually funny, actually has story, actually has character depth, and is everything Slayers could only dream to be.
So thank you, idiots from high school who told me Slayers was "the shit." You just wasted a complete afternoon of my life. Granted, my reading of Slayers occurred long after I dumped your sorry asses and moved on to community college, but I still can't forgive you. And don't give me that, "But you haven't seen the Slayers anime yet! You might like that more!" talk either. I can't fathom how being in animated format could make Slayers any bit more tolerable.
In closing, FUCK the Slayers, FUCK the people who recommended it to me, and if you actually think Slayers is a "classic", I will view everything you say with suspicion. You have been warned, internet.
Thank you for your time.
Slayers manga score: 1 out of 10. Artwork doesn't offend me, but everything else does.
LATE EDIT: I'm nearly 26 now, and this is still the worst graphic novel I ever read.
